


Open My Eyes (And I'm Next To You)

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha Kageyama Tobio, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Children, Confusing relationships, Getting Back Together, Implied Mpreg, I’ve just realized how much angst this fic is actually gonna have, M/M, Natsu’s too mature for her own good, Omega Hinata Shouyou, Pro Kageyama, Single Parents, partial Hinata/Daichi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-03-29 09:43:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19017349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Hinata remembers the last time he saw Kageyama. He remembers holding his diploma close to his chest while a new first year shakily took a farewell picture of his senpai. He definitely remembers that swirling feeling in his gut that meant so much more than just nausea or sadness. That feeling itself served as a reminder that Kageyama was leaving and Hinata wasn’t going with him.Kageyama was leaving and Hinata nor this swirling anxiety were going with him.Kageyama goes off to college in Tokyo after graduation and leaves Hinata to start a new life of his own.





	1. A Gift To Me, This Sorry Soul

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for clicking on the first chapter of this fic! I've had this idea swirling around in my head a good minute and I was honestly nervous to post this because I've just started out a new semester so I don't know when I'm going to have time to update this fic but if I get enough demand, I'll probably put it in my schedule. This song was mostly written to a song called Elusive by Scott Matthews. I love this fic idea like its my own child so I hope you guys like it too! 
> 
> Also, this is unbeta'd so sorry for any mistakes.
> 
> You guys can reach me at my tumblr: bestkage

**Chapter One: A Gift to Me, This Sorry Soul ******

********

**Spring, Graduation ******

********

Hinata remembers the last time he saw Kageyama. He remembers holding his diploma close to his chest while a new first year shakily took a farewell picture of his senpai. He definitely remembers that swirling feeling in his gut that meant so much more than just nausea or sadness. That feeling itself served as a reminder that Kageyama was leaving and Hinata wasn’t going with him.  
Kageyama was leaving and Hinata nor this swirling anxiety were going with him.

 

**Spring, Present ******

********

********

“Oi, Hinata!” The call is loud over the sound of machinery and chatter of workers among him. Hinata feels the sweat on his forehead roll down the side of his cheek as he turns to face the supervisor that’s called out to him.  


“Oh- Ito-san?” Hinata responds, placing his box cutter on top of the fish crate he was unpacking.  


“Kobayashi-san wants to see you in his office.” Ito says and Hinata can tell from the downward pull of the corners of his stern mouth that it probably won’t be the best news in the world. From the corner of his eye, he can see his co-worker Watanabe giving him an apologetic smile that’s probably supposed to tell him to hope for the best but is honestly inspiring the exact opposite. Hinata mutters a quiet “yes” that’s probably lost over the roar of machinery and the sound of the docks and pulls off his fish blood stained gloves and shoves them in his blue jumpsuit as he makes his way towards the rusted gray grate staircase. The industrial steel bars have rusted too, leaving streaks of red-brown on his palms that he’s starting to sweat off as he nears his boss’s office.  


He knocks a timid beat on the steel door and he’s surprised to hear his boss’s voice call “come in”. It sends chills down his spine because his boss definitely couldn’t have heard those knocks. He was expecting him to come immediately and that in itself was a red flag.  


“You wanted to see me?” Hinata asks, sticking his head in the door. Kobayashi sits as his desk, eyes glued to his desktop screen.  


“Hinata-san, come in and close the door.” The man says and Hinata gulps before easing through the doorway, pushing it closed gently. Hinata stands and waits as Kobayashi taps away on his keyboard for a minute. With finality, he clicks harshly on his mouse and then turns to Hinata who probably resembles a squirrel that knows he’s not going to avoid this car this time. “You can sit down.” Kobayashi says and there’s a warmth to the smile he’s wearing but it doesn’t look to promising. Hinata does sit, but he squirms a little in the hard faux-leather chair. There’s an awkward beat in the air where Hinata’s heart pounds obnoxiously loud in his own ears and his boss’s deep sienna eyes linger before the man lets out a sigh. “I know things have been a little hard on you lately and I want to start off by saying I took that into account.”  


Hinata nods timidly, feeling the “but” that’s yet to come.  


“Hinata-san, you know you’re one of my most endearing employees and I value your position in this company. Even if you are just a conveyor belt worker, you’ve lightened the hearts of these stale old men.” Kobayashi says, a genuinely fond smile among his features. “All that said, I’m sorry to say, but we’re going to have to cut back on some of your hours.”  


Hinata’s heart drops but not to that pit that’s below his own body.  


“The new factory upgrades require a bit more man-power and we need more bodies built to handle the machinery and to do that, we’ve had to let go of a few people but we know your situation and we want to give you a month’s time to find a new job before you separate from the company.”  


Hinata’s not that smart but he knows what his boss is really saying but not saying aloud. They want more alphas and “weaker” betas and omegas aren’t enough to get the job done.  


“Hinata, I hope you know that we really tried getting you in for a promotion but you have no after high school education and that’s something that my boss requires. I really went to bat for you and I’m sorry things had to be this way.” Kobayashi finishes and Hinata takes a deep rattling breath.  


“How many hours am I down to?” Hinata exhales, fingers laced tightly together. Kobayashi sighs silently but it’s powerful enough to disturb the corner of a page laid out on his desk.  


“Twenty a week.” The man says finally and Hinata can feel his heart drop down to that aforementioned pit.  


“Twenty? Kobayashi-san, that’s not enough.” He says with a surface level calmness that doesn’t match the grinding gears in his gut.  


“I know, Shoyou.” Kobayashi says and Hinata feels the sincerity implied with the use of his given name. “I tried my best. For you and Emiko-chan.”  


Hinata wants to say something in response but nothing’s formulating. He knows Kobayashi tried his best for him, as he always has. He can’t place the blame on his boss or himself. So he gives a silent nod and whispers and small “thank you."

********

Hinata always manages to drop a few bags on his way up the steps but his trip is made easier this time by the lack of groceries he carting. He fumbles with his keys a little bit, missing the lock a few times before successfully unlocking his door. His alarm chirps to notify him of entry and he’ll deactivate it later once his arms aren’t so full. He doesn’t set anything down as he toes his shoes off in the entry way and he notices then that a lock of his hair is caught between his bag strap and his shoulder.  


 

“Ow, ow, ow-“ He mutters, trying not to move his head too abruptly when a light flicks on and the pressure of the few bags he’s holding is relieved from his arms. He lets out a sigh as he frees his hair from its entrapment. “Thanks.” He breathes, pulling the bag strap over his head.  


 

“You know you could have asked for help?”  


 

“I didn’t know you were still here. It was all dark and stuff.” Hinata grumbles in defeat. A hand comes down in his hair to give it a good natured ruffling and Hinata finds that he just wants to melt into it and probably cry. Definitely cry. “Daichi-saaan.” He groans, swatting away the hand. Daichi just gives a good natured chuckle before heading to the small one person kitchen and setting the bags on the counter.  


 

“Emi-chan’s asleep.” The darker haired man says with his back turned to Hinata. Hinata lets out a small sigh as he notices the figure draped in a small cover on the couch, he bright hair spilling over the stuffed animal she’s using as a pillow. No matter how many times Hinata tied her hair back, it always found itself free again and Hinata’s starting to give up on buying hair scrunchies. He makes his over to the couch, socked feet silent on the stained carpet. Emiko’s favorite TV show is illuminating the room but the volume’s muted. He squeezes between her and the armrest, hooking his hands under her arms to pull her to his lap. She stirs a bit but settles once Hinata drops a hand in her hair and starts lightly scraping his nails against her scalp. “There’s a volleyball summer camp coming up at her school.” Daichi says and he’s taking a seat in the arm chair adjacent to him and Emiko, pulling his laptop to his lap to resume what was most likely homework.  


 

“Yeah, I know. Sato-sensei let me know last time I picked her up.” Hinata says, eyes glued to the little girl in his lap. “I don’t think she’ll be able to go though.” He sighs, feeling his eyes water in the corners.  


 

“Hinata?” Daichi calls, the laptop in his lap now not his main focus.  


 

“They cut my hours at the factory and they gave me a month to find a new job.” He confesses and a droplet falls from his jaw into the little girl in his lap’s hair.  


 

“Hinata…” The older male sighs, and there’s rustling and the sound of the laptop closing before Daichi’s perching on the arm of the chair pulling Hinata into a sideways hug by his shoulder.  


 

“She really wanted to go and now I’ve gotta tell her she can’t go.” Hinata sniffles, bringing up a hand to wipe at the tears dripping down his cheeks. “It just seems like every time I make her a promise, something happens and I can’t keep it. She doesn’t deserve that.”  


 

“Hey, Hinata,” Daichi says, giving him a little shake. “You’re doing everything you can, okay? You’ve done so much for her already and she knows that.”  


 

“How do you know?” Hinata whispers in defeat. Daichi’s silent for a second before he’s getting up and making his way to the kitchen. “Daichi?” He calls, craning his neck to see of the small island in his view.  


 

“Emi drew this at school today.” Daichi says as he heads back, hand outstretched with a paper at the end of his fingers. Hinata takes it slowly.  


 

“Who is Your Hero?” The paper reads and Hinata can feel emotion swell in his chest like turbulence against a dam. Below that one question is a childish drawing of a short man with wild orange hair to his shoulders holding hands with a small orange haired girl. In an even more childish fashion, there’s writing below the picture.

 

_Mommy is my hero. He wurks hard to get me things and I love mommy. ___


	2. As I Learn to Live Long

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I wanted to get this chapter up since I’m already noticing a great response. I promise after the next two or three chapters that things will start to pick up and get more interesting!

Chapter two: As I Learn to Live Long

One thing Hinata’s learned by Daichi practically living with him is that his former senpai snores. Loud. He can hear it as he stirs at the sound combined with the persistent beeping of his phone alarm. He slaps at it, failing a few times before finally getting ahold of it. The screen’s too bright in the darkness in his room and he squints at the 4:55 on the screen before disabling the alarm. He resettles himself in the bed with a sigh after he’s set the phone back in its place on the nightstand. He’s aware then of the weight on his chest and looks down to see his daughter sleeping peacefully against his chest.

Waking up Emiko is probably one of the hardest things to do in the morning. He just wants to curl back up with her and fall asleep while lazily stroking her hair. Especially since this is the first day since school’s let out and she has to stay home all day with Daichi while he goes off to work. The thought makes the impending dread of looking for another job weigh on him again. He was lucky to get a good paying position with his omega status and a daughter who he parents by himself. Sure, he’s thankful to have Daichi around to help him out as long as he has, but Daichi’s in college. Even if he mainly takes online classes, he’s got a job of his own.

Sometimes, Hinata wonders what life would’ve been like if he didn’t have Daichi in his life. Daichi has been so much help to him and he can’t even begin to wonder how he’ll ever pay his former senpai back. He picks Emiko up from school and watches her while doing his homework. He buys food sometimes even when Hinata actually has enough food in the fridge to make a decent meal and he helps Hinata with the bills. Most important to Hinata was that Daichi was there with him every step of the way. He was there for Hinata’s first ultrasound, his first bout of odd cravings, the first kick, all the way up to the delivery room. What baffles Hinata most is that he’s still here, sleeping on the couch with the light of his laptop’s screen saver illuminating the hallway.  
He’s laid in bed a little too long and he’s glad he had cut out showers as his morning routine seeing as he’s just going to smell like fish when he gets to the cannery anyway.

Not for long, he reminds himself.

 

“Emi-chan,” He calls, dropping a hand to rub small circles on his daughter’s back. Emiko stirs, whines minutely before settling again. “Emi-chan,” He tries again, this time tapping her lightly. Emiko lets out another whine, a pout formed on her small lips that always reminds him way too much of her father. Hinata huffs out a fond sigh. He can let her sleep a little longer. He pries her small arm from off his torso and slips from the sheets. He takes a minute to stretch by the bed, feeling the stress from the last few years settle where limberness and athleticism used to reside. After he’s made himself a little dizzy from the stretch, he turns with a small sigh and gently hoist Emiko into his arms, tucking her head in his shoulder. Apparently, somewhere between Hinata waking up and actually getting up, Daichi’s gotten up himself. His laptop’s closed and sitting close to the armrest of the couch that Hinata lies Emiko down on. Hinata pulls the same little cover Emiko had been using previously back over her before pressing both of his palms against his eyes.

“Hinata,” Daichi voices from the kitchen. When Hinata removes his hands, he can see Daichi standing at the sink with two cups of what he guesses is coffee, illuminated by the harsh florescent lights of the overhead lamp. Hinata makes his way around the island, mumbles a quiet thank you as he takes the cup from his former senpai’s hand. It’s got way too much flavored creamer in it and it’s exactly the way he likes it. “Ukai’s hiring down at Sakanoshita. I can drop by today and see if he’ll give you some hours.” Daichi proposes.

Only a few people stayed in Miyagi and they’re the only ones who know about Hinata’s pregnancy. Daichi was an exception, he was in college in Kyoto before he decided to transfer back to Miyagi in Hinata’s third year. He sees the others from time to time, Tanaka babysits for him sometimes (and surprisingly, he’s very good at it), he buys Emiko meatbuns from Ukai’s store. Other than that, most of the old team members have no idea. For a good reason.

“You think he’ll let me?” Hinata asks, sighing into the brim of his coffee cup.

“Yeah, the man’s getting soft in his old years. He loves Emi.” Daichi says, and Hinata’s eyebrows furrow.

“He’s only like, thirty.”

“Going on ninety.” His former senpai laughs. Apparently the new team’s been giving Ukai gray hairs with the rollercoaster of wins and loses he’s taken them on. “He’ll definitely give you hours.” He reassures. “Oh, and you know you don’t have to pay me, right?” Hinata groans into his cup.  
“It doesn’t feel right. You do a lot for us already and you’ve got school and your own job and everything.” Hinata rattles off.

“Exactly, I have my own job. I don’t need you to pay me, Hinata.” Daichi says, turning to the cabinet behind him and opening it. Hinata watches him with curiosity from the corner of his eye before Daichi turns back around with a small box in his hands. He holds it out to Hinata and Hinata stares at it before looking back at him. “Take it.” Daichi says and Hinata gulps before taking the box. It’s one of Emiko’s old shoe boxes and Hinata doesn’t get the sentiment of it until he takes off the lid to reveal a stack of cash inside. He looks up to Daichi with wide eyes.

“Dai-“ Hinata starts but Daichi shakes his head.  
“That’s every bit of money you’ve paid me over the past few years. I put it away so if something like this happened, you’d have something to fall back on.” His former senpai says and Hinata’s about to start crying again even though he cried a lot last night. “Use some of it to pay for the summer camp. I’ll pick Emi up and drop her off so don’t worry about anything.” Hinata’s dumbfounded and his vision’s getting blurry from the wetness in his eyes. He knows Daichi won’t let him give it back and he knows Emiko deserves to go to this camp so he nods, bringing up his arm to wipe at his eyes.

**Spring, One Month before Graduation**

“Shoyou, please stop running through the house!” Hinata’s mom called although he was already halfway up the stairs.

“Sorry, mom!” He called over his shoulder, almost tripping up a step. He didn’t stop running until he got to his room, hurriedly pulling it open and slipping behind it. He could hear the pitter patter of Natsu’s feet before he could even see her. His closed door must’ve gave her the right idea to not bother him at the moment because he hears a whine at his door before footsteps are sounding down the stairs. He lets out a content sigh, falling backwards onto his bed although the ball of anxiety in his gut didn’t allow him to make himself comfortable. It was almost like it was a yarn ball, and the almost offending item buried in his bag was an alley cat constantly tugging at the end of the strand just to annoy him.

It was just a suspicion. A process of elimination even. Sure it was a list he crossed a lot of things off on before he even got to this but below this was cancer so that one was probably a lot worse.  
It’d started about a month ago when he started to notice that he had to pause to catch his breath a lot during practice. He was also sleeping through his alarm a lot more often to the point where he was almost half an hour late to practice in the morning. One truly almost mortifying experience was waking up only to throw up in his own lap. No one had really noticed seeing as he was infamous for his poor stomach and forgetfulness but he had definitely noticed. The tired he had been feeling was draining and post practice naps turned into full night sleeps that were interrupted by that god awful lurch his stomach plagued upon him. Even at that moment he wanted to crawl under his thick duvet and lay there until he slept through his alarm in the morning.

Like every modern day person, he had looked up his symptoms online and had gotten a list that included jet lag and migraines. Seeing as he’s never been on a plane or so much had a headache that wasn’t volleyball induced, those items were crossed off quickly.

So that brought him back to his bag. More so, the pregnancy test buried in his bag. He wasn’t freaking out. Hinata was the brightest star in the sky but he knew it was likely. Maybe more than likely because unprotected sex with one truly amazing setter was definitely a thing that happened once. Or twice. Being an omega just meant that he was definitely more at risk even despite the birth control he took to regulate his heats. He wasn’t even aware up until a few months ago that an omega could pregnant outside of their heats and he had a good amount of mind blowing sex outside of his heats but they almost always used protection so there was a good chance he could just...not be pregnant. Maybe it was one of those fake pregnancy things that make you have the symptoms because you really do think you’re pregnant and that sounds like what it could be–

Hinata squeezed his eyes shut tight.

He was definitely freaking out. They had games coming up and then graduation’s around the corner and he had scholarships to universities. He couldn’t be pregnant.

There was only one way to find out and Hinata thanked whoever’s up above for the balls between his legs that gave him the courage to dig into the abyss that’s his gym bag and find the offensively lavender box that was supposed to appeal to omegas even though he was sure any pregnancy test would get the job done.

He cracked his door open slowly, peeking out into the hallway. The last thing he needed was to run into his sister who was old enough to know what a pregnancy test was and what it was for. Without any sign of the aforementioned sibling, he scurried across the hall and into the bathroom directly across from his room, hastily locking the door and letting out a big breath.

His mom never asked him if he was sexually active (thank God) and she wasn’t sure if she entirely knew that his setter’s and his arrangement was mostly physical nowadays; even with the exchanged proclamations of love. He didn’t know if that was hurting him or helping him in this situation. Maybe she could of clued him in or something but then again, he could just not be pregnant and freaking out over nothing.  
Another breath is taken but this one is full bodied and he didn’t even realize he was practically trembling until he was actually trying to open the box. He ended up practically ripping the box in half, the test flying one way and instructions pamphlet flying the other way.

“Wah-“ He yelped, fumbling across the dink’s countertop and knocking over the toothbrush cup in the process.

“Shoyou?” A questioning yell called up the stairs.  
“I’m okay!” He called in response, fingers finally gripped around the test. When there was no response he let out a trembling breath.  
So. Pregnancy test. Not hard. You just pee on it and wait. He could do that. He was good at peeing but probably not so much the waiting part.  
The process went smoothly aside from missing the test strip a few times but in the end, he hit his mark and put the lavender cap back on the tip.

And waited.

Agonizingly.

Pregnancy was a big deal. It’s an entire life that you’ve got to take care of and he’d have to tell his mom, his dad, Ukai, the team and Kageyama.

_Kageyama. ___

__Suddenly everything felt too real. He and Kageyama were going to college together and they were going to play volleyball together and make it on Japan’s national team. He couldn’t be pregnant._ _

__The test was upside down on the counter and he was sure the two minute mark had gone by but he didn’t want to look. Yet, he reached for it anyway, closing his eyes and flipping it over in his hands._ _

__He couldn’t be pregnant._ _

__He opened his eyes._ _

__Okay._ _

__So, apparently he definitely could be pregnant.  
Better yet, he definitely is pregnant seeing as the little screen on the test clearly says “pregnant” in clear text. _ _

__**Spring, Present** _ _

__“Your hair’s getting long.”_ _

__It’s Hinata’s lunch break and he’s sitting with his feet dangling off the dock with Watanabe laid out with his bag under his head. It took a good minute to get used to eating while smelling like fish. If it wasn’t for the showers in the locker rooms, he’d be taking the smell home with him too. He stopped cutting it some months ago and he was surprised how long it was getting himself. He can feel his hair spilling out of the low ponytail he’d pulled it into and he curses the fact that Emiko got his hair texture. At first glance, Kageyama and Emiko didn’t have the same striking resemblance she and Hinata shared but Hinata can see it in her deep blue eyes. He can see it when she’s concentrating, he can see it when she smiles. He can see everything about him in her._ _

__“Yeah,” Hinata sighs, wiping his hand unceremoniously on his jumpsuit. He made it a habit not to think too much about Kageyama. It’s not like he was still head over heels in love with him like he used to be. Sure, it still hurts when he sees a picture or walks past a spot they’ve hung out at but he doesn’t love him anymore. It doesn’t tear him apart at night and he doesn’t cry about it like he used to. Emiko‘s birth changed all of that. “hey,” Hinata starts, turning to face Watanabe and pulling his legs under himself. “Do you ever think about what it could’ve been like?”_ _

__Watanabe’s eyebrows furrow._ _

__“Like, what life would be like if you did just one thing different.” Hinata clarifies._ _

__“Yeah.” Watanabe laughs, his brown hair falling to the side as he leaned back further. “I think every sane person does.” He says before propping himself up on his elbows. “Why?”_ _

__“I don’t know.” Hinata shrugs. “When I first had Emi, I used to wonder what it would’ve been like if I’d done things the way I was supposed to. If things would’ve been easier.”_ _

__“And who determines what you’re supposed to do? For all I know, you made a great decision and you and Emi-chan are happy.” Watanabe says._ _

__“Yeah, but now I’m an unmated omega working in a fish cannery that I got fired from.” Hinata laughs humorlessly._ _

__“Yeah. Maybe this was what you’re supposed to do, though. It may not be glamorous like playing pro-volleyball but it’s something.” Watanabe shrugs, pushing himself up so he’s seated shoulder to shoulder with Hinata._ _

__Hinata looks out at the waves lapping at the shores a distance down. The sun’s bright overhead and the sounds of seagulls drown at the roar of machinery a walk away._ _

__“It’s something.” Hinata says._ _


	3. Spinning Wheels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry for the wait on this chapter, school’s been hell and now I’m on my internship that’s also gonna be hell but thanks for the comments! I may not respond but I read them all. If you ever wanna encourage me to keep writing this, hit me up on my tumblr @bestkage!

**_Chapter three:_ **

 

“Mama!” Emiko shouts happily from the bathroom as soon as Hinata makes it in the door.

“Hey- no-“ Daichi says and there’s some sloshing that indicates Daichi probably had just gotten her in the bath that she was now trying to run out of. Apparently, Daichi’s efforts were futile because Emiko’s coming around the corner naked as the day she was born aside from the thin veil of suds covering her body.

“Emi,” Hinata laughs, patting her head as she launches at his legs and latches herself to them.

“Camp was really, really, really cool!” Emiko grins, her suds drenched hair slicked back and dripping.

“I’ll let you tell me all about it after you take your bath.” Hinata reasons, quirking an eyebrow. It was a habit he’d gotten from his mother that he didn’t even notice until she had pointed it out. Emiko juts her little lip out in an exaggerated pout but nods all the same. Right as she unlatched herself, Daichi hoists her into the air drawing a squeal from the girl.

“You little monster,” Daichi growls playfully. Emiko laughs loudly, writhing in Daichi’s arms before the suds allows her to slip from his grasp. She rounds the corner fast but sticks her head back around to poke her tongue out before giggling back into the bathroom. “She’s definitely your kid.” Daichi sighs and Hinata takes the time to take in the fact that Daichi is absolutely drenched.

“Looks like she gave you a bath.” He laughs.

“Yeah?” Daichi snorts. “You want one next?” Hinata lets out another laugh as Daichi makes his way to the kitchen. He’s pathetically dabbing at his shirt with the dish towel when Hinata flops back on the couch, feeling the aches of the day settle in his muscles. “How was work?” His former senpai questions from the kitchen.

“I spilled the fish on myself.” Hinata groans, skin crawling at the memory. “Twice.”

“Sounds right.” Daichi nods, and Hinata hangs his head over the back of the couch and lets out an indignant squawk.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He says, brows furrowed together and his former senpai stops his fruitless efforts and decides to throw the dish towel at him instead. It doesn’t hit him and Hinata sticks his tongue out at him, earning a chuckle.

  


“Mama,”

Hinata stirs at a pat on his forearm, opening his eyes to see Emi at the side of his bed with wide eyes.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asks, propping himself on his elbow and extending a hand to the girl’s hair.

“I had a bad dream.” She says with a whine in her voice, clutching a stuffed blue and brown spotted giraffe against her chest. Hinata frowns and gives a small pat to Emi’s cheek before hoisting her up and settling her next to him.

“You can sleep with mama.” He smiles, pulling back the covers and tucking her under them. She smiles sleepily, lids half mast over big cerulean eyes.

“Mama?” She says, and Hinata’s hand finds its way to her hair, fingernails grazing over his scalp.

“Yeah?” Hinata answers. He sees Kageyama in her then, specifically late night bedroom conversations Kageyama. When he and Kageyama would lie across from each other, talking for hours about the rest of their lives. The ebbing feel of exhaustion never hit when all Hinata could think about while looking at Kageyama and his blue eyes was how he couldn’t wait until the wrinkles in their faces told their story.

“Is Daichi-oji my daddy?”

Hinata freezes. He knew there would be some point in time where this question would arise. Emiko’s asked about her father before. Hinata always opted to tell her about her dad instead.

“Wh-why you would think that?” Hinata questions, lowering himself so their eye to eye.

“Because,” Emi starts, petting the head of her giraffe. “You said my daddy is really good at volleyball and ojisan played volleyball.” She says, a small furrow forming between her brows.

“But I said daddy had blue eyes, like yours. Remember?” Hinata says.

“I know.” Emi says with a small sigh that’s beyond her years. “I wish Daichi-oji was my daddy.”

Hinata’s chest is stuffed with cotton, throat dry. He can feel the beginning trembles in his chin and moisture collecting in the corners of his eyes.

“You know,” He says on a breath in, a small pained smile stretching his mouth. “Sometimes I wish that too.”

  


“Ojiisan!” Hinata can’t grasp the small hood on Emiko’s hoodie fast enough and Emiko barrels right into the back of Ukai’s legs.

“Oi!” Ukai shouts, knees giving for a moment before his balance is caught again.

“Sorry!” Hinata calls, but the sentiment is short lived when Ukai grab Emiko by her waist and slings her over his shoulder.

“You’re more of a brat than your mama is.” Ukai scolds, dogging his fingers in the girl’s sides. Emi lets out a laugh, delivering a harsh slap to Ukai’s back that makes the man wince.

“Don’t call my mama a brat!” She demands, but that resolve diminishes as soon as Ukai starts tickling her again.

Sakanoshita is filled with twinkling sound of a little girl’s laughter and Hinata finds himself wondering, yet again, how a little girl as perfect as Emi could be his daughter.

“I know you didn’t come just to stand in the doorway.” Ukai says and Hinata realizes he’s deposited Emi on the counter and she’s already tinkering with some knickknack keychains hanging by the register.

“Emi wanted ice cream.” Hinata says and Emi looks at him.

“No mama, you wanted ice cream.” She says and Ukai raises his eyebrows.

“Blaming things on your brat?”

“Okay. I wanted ice cream.” Hinata says, shooting a halfhearted glare his daughter’s way. She glares right back before turning back to the keychains. Hinata makes his way to the ice cream cooler by the door and slides the glass door open.

“Sawamura came by.” Ukai calls from where he’s leaning on the counter. “He said you needed some hours?” He can’t see Ukai but he knows what face the man’s wearing. The same face he gets from everyone when he’s hit a rough patch.

“Yeah.” Hinata says. “They cut my hours at the factory and I’ll have to look for a new job soon.”

Ukai doesn’t say anything and Hinata’s grateful for it. The last thing he wants to hear is “I’m sorry”.

“When do you want to start?”

  


One person Hinata’s come to appreciate more after Emiko’s birth is Tanaka. Tanaka works at the youth gym center and gets Emiko into some of their programs on discount. Tanaka is also the only person he knows who can rival her energy and play with her for hours on end. He’s also the only person who put two and two together and figured out that Emiko was Kageyama’s daughter and actively resents the alpha for it.

Tanaka sits beside him now, making faces at Emi when she turns to him to make sure he’s still watching her do tumbles in the mulch.

“She looks just like you.” Tanaka says on an exhale, leaning back against the bench and throwing Emi a quick thumbs up when she semi-successfully finishes another tumble.

“I’d hope so. She kinda is my kid.” Hinata says and he’s rewarded with a punch to the shoulder.

“You know what I mean.” Tanaka laughs. “I’m kinda glad she doesn’t look too much like him now. When she was a baby, she did the whole broody-glarely thing with her eyes.” He adds, squinting his eyes into the trademarked Kageyama glare.

“She still looks like him. When I get her out of the bath and her hair’s all wet and stuff, I can see it. When she’s playing around and gets serious, I can see it too.” Hinata hums, watching as his little girl jumps up from the mulch to chase some poor boy around the jungle gym.

“He’s missing out.” Tanaka says.

“He can’t miss out on what he doesn’t know about.” Hinata smiles sadly.

“Yeah you can.” Tanaka adds and Hinata can see him gauging his reaction from his peripheral. “Good thing Daichi-san fills in where Kageyama’s lacking. He’s good for you guys.”

“He does too much for us. I just want to get my life together so he can live his own. He didn’t sign up for this.”

“Yeah, but neither did you. And he loves being with you guys. You know Daichi-san would give the world for you two.” Tanaka says and Hinata can feel the words coming before Tanaka says them. “Which makes me wonder...why aren’t you two together? He’s been up your ass since Emi was born so I know there’s something there. Actually, a better question, has he been up your as–“

“No!” Hinata squawks, batting Tanaka’s face away from where he had started to invade his personal space with that toothy teasing grin. “Daichi’s just my friend! And he still loves Suga-san!”

“Does he really? You can’t tell me you guys haven’t done something with all the time you guys spend playing house.”

“We don’t play house.” Hinata huffs. “But,” He starts, crimson blossoming on his cheeks. “I mean– you can’t tell anyone this!” He declares, holding out a pinky that Tanaka stares at.

“Who am I gonna tell? Ukai?” He questions indignantly. Hinata just stares back, mouth pursed and brows furrowed. Tanaka hooks his pinky with his with an exasperated sigh. “Fine.”

“We uh...we kissed once. Or twice. And did um...stuff.” Hinata admits and Tanaka’s grow so wide it would be funny if Hinata didn't just admitted that he and his former captain fooled around once.

“When did you kiss?! And stuff like what?!” Tanaka demands, crowding Hinata’s space again.

“It was like, three years ago!” Hinata says defensively. “We kissed a few months after Emi was born...you know, when him and Suga broke up.” He admits. “And the second time was before he um...he helped me with my heat a year ago.”

“So he was up your as-“

“No, he wasn’t! I mean, like, his _thing_ wasn’t–“

“Thing? Shoyou, you’re an adult, you can say dic-“

“We’re at a park!” Hinata screeches.

“So he fingered you?”

“Will you drop it!” Hinata begs, dropping his head into his hands out of sheer embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, it’s just- it’s just weird picturing you two like that.” Tanaka says sheepishly.

“We’re not like that. He stills loves Suga and he’s just been there for me and Emi since he found out I was pregnant.”

“Yeah, well, I’m glad he’s there for you guys.” Tanaka says and he looks out over to where Emi’s building a mulch mound with the same boy she was chasing. “At least he’s there.”

  


**_Spring, One Month After Graduation_ **

 

Hinata went to his first doctor’s appointment alone. He sat in the waiting room by himself, and he sat in the observation room by himself. He sat on that paper lined bed by himself, and laid back with that cold gel on his stomach by himself. He left his first doctor’s appointment realizing he wasn’t really by himself.

Taking the test was different. Seeing the little plus on that screen almost felt like he could shake it like an etch-a-sketch and it would disappear but this sonogram his has in his hand, pamphlets and vitamin prescriptions he has tucked in his old gym bag makes it so much more real. Makes his and Kageyama baby so much more real.

He’s sitting on the train by himself when the platform doors open and makes him realize that he’s been staring at this warped image of the life that’s inside him too long and he hops up to make it out the door only to crash into someone trying to come in.

“Shit, I’m sorry!” The man says and Hinata’s scrambles, trying to collect the contents of his gym bag as he realizes the man is already doing so. “Hinata?” He hears and realizes he recognizes the voice. He recognizes the voice that’s currently holding and looking down at the sonogram that he’s picked up.

“Daichi-san…” Hinata trails and Daichi’s looking back up at him.

 

Their sitting in a coffee shop and the booth seats are so high that Hinata could swing his feet if he wanted to. He nor Daichi has said a word since they ordered and Hianata hopes he can continue hiding behind the large parfait with extra strawberries he ordered and not say a single word. But of course it doesn’t go that way.

“How far along are you?” Daichi asks and Hinata considers stuffing that large strawberry topping off his parfait in his mouth to avoid speaking.

“The doctor says I’m fourteen weeks. So three months. I think.”

“You’re in your second trimester. Congratulations.” Daichi says with a smile and Hinata wants to sink down into his chair and maybe even slide out of it into a hole that opens up beneath his feet. “How does Kageyama feel about it?” He asks, striding his straw in the cold brew he'd ordered.

“He um…” Hinata trails, biting at his bottom lip. “He doesn’t know.” He answers, swallowing around the lump in his throat. “We broke up before graduation and I just...I just didn’t tell him.”

“Hinata…”

“I know.” Hinata breathes. “I know, he deserves to know, but I can’t tell him. He’s playing volleyball at a really good university and I don’t want him to mess that up. He worked really hard to get in.”

“You both worked really hard to get in.” Daichi says and Hinata sighs shakily. They did work really hard to get into the same university on the same volleyball team so that they could be together.

“I know.” Hinata says and Daichi softens.

“It’s not fair for you to give up your dream so he can have his when you two made this baby together.”

“But he didn’t ask for any of this.” The omega whispers, staring down at that stupid strawberry.

“Neither did you, Hinata. You don’t have to shoulder this all by yourself.” Daichi assures and Hinata wipes at his eyes.

“I have to. I don’t want him to know. I don’t want him to come back, and I don’t want him to sacrifice volleyball for me and this- this-“ Hinata chokes on the words and Daichi reaches out a hand across the table.

“It’s okay. I won’t say a word. But trust me, you’re not getting through this by yourself.”

  


**_Spring, Present_ **

 

“Emi-chan, look how cute you are!” Natsu’s the first to greet them. And by them, Hinata means Emiko. Hinata doesn’t even get as much as a “hi” from his little sister as she bypasses him for her niece. She’s a middle schooler now and somehow, she got hit with their dad’s height and she’s almost as tall as Hinata.

“Hi to you too.” Hinata teases as Emi runs into her aunt’s arms.

“You’re not cute.” Nastu says, sticking her tongue out at him and Emi follows in suit.

“Nastu, go take Emi into the kitchen.” His mom says as she comes around the corner. His mom’s aged with the stress he put her through and it shows in the lines by her smile that she has when she sees him.

“Welcome home, Shoyou.” She says, pressing a kiss to his hair and Hinata smiles back at her. “How Daichi doing?” She asks as Hinata toes off his shoes.

“He’s studying for finals, I think.” He says, taking off his bag and hanging it on the coat stand.

“What’s he studying again?” She questions. Hinata sighs. His mom’s been like this ever since Daichi’s stepped into the picture. Even if she hasn’t said it out loud, he knows that she’s secretly hoping that her son would get together with a nice Alpha like Daichi.

“Sports medicine. He’s on his grad degree.” He answers, following behind her into the kitchen. Natsu nor Emi are insight but he can hear their giggling voices from the tv room.

“He’s such a nice boy, helping you guys out.” She says, taking up residence in front of the stove and stirring at something with a pair of chopsticks. It smells like fish and Hinata could definitely eat fish.

“Yeah, he’s great.” He says, seating himself at the breakfast bar on one of their tall stools.

“So...when are you two going to get together?” She asks with a hum in her voice.

“Mom,” Hinata groans, letting his head drop to the table. “There’s nothing going on with me and Daichi. Besides, he’s still in love with Suga-san.” He says, just like he’d told Tanaka earlier.

“It’s been years, Shoyou. He might’ve moved on.”

“People don’t just move on when they’re in love like they were.” Hinata sighs against the countertop.

“Are you sure it’s not you who hasn’t moved on?”

Hinata sits up then, stares at his mom’s back as she tries to play off this whole conversation nonchalantly.

“I’m not in love with Kageyama anymore.” He says and his mom turns to him then.

“Then why haven’t you gone on a date? I’m pretty sure there’s been people to ask.” She questions.

“Because they all run away when they realize I’m an unmated omega who’s twenty-one years old with a five year old daughter.”

“Shoyou,” His mother says, concern in her gentle eyes. “All I’m trying to say is that you deserve to be happy. And I think Daichi makes you happy. You can move on. Even if you say you don’t love Tobio anymore.”

“Emi-chan, wait!” Hinata hears Nastu yell before Emi’s clinging onto Hinata’s pants leg.

“Mama, look! Volleyball!” Emi says, pointing behind her at the tv screen. Behind her, a clip of a match is being shown with a headline that would’ve made Hinata jump for joy a few years ago.

“How does it feel knowing you’ve been drafted for Japan’s national team as a starting player?” The sports reporter asks, leaning a microphone into the face he knows too well and not enough anymore.

“I worked hard for it but I couldn’t do it without my team and all my other supporters.”

“Well, good luck to you! Kageyama Tobio, Japan’s national volleyball team’s newest setter!”


	4. Going Down My Own Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter because I didn’t know how to add more meat to this chapter. I need a beta (wink wink) so bad. Anyway, take this garbage and be prepared for the next chapter. 
> 
> As always, confess your love for me @bestkage on tumblr. 
> 
> (Sekihan is red beans and rice eaten for a celebration.)

**_Chapter four:_ **

 

**_Spring, Present_ **

 

The city streets are never still nor quiet but Kageyama’s found that if he takes the back alleys, he can hear the steps of his feet as they hit the pavement over the low sound of droning guitar playing in his ears. It’s peaceful this way and he can almost find the same peace he had running this early in the morning back in Sendai. 

He stops at a crosswalk that’s just counted down to the stop signal and he rests his hands on his hips as a cargo truck drives by followed by a moped and a few cars. His phone vibrates where it’s strapped to his arm and he mentally kicks himself for forgetting to put it on do not disturb. His phone has been blowing up since the news announced that he had been drafted and he was never used to this many notifications coming in. But he couldn’t deny that he only checked them every other hour to see if any of the messages came from the one person he’d wanted to share that moment with. Sitting in his apartment with friends he had made over the years and watching his name called on TV as cheers erupted around him. People were shaking him and clapping his on the bag. He was pretty sure Suga popped a bottle of champagne somewhere but despite the wobbly smile on his face, he could only think of one person who he really wanted to smile at him and say “congratulations”. 

Someone jogs pass him and Kageyama looks up to see that the crosswalk is on another countdown. 

  
  


“I’m back,” Kageyama calls into the apartment and he’s met with silence as he toes off his running shoes. He lets out a heavy sigh and realizes that he’s got to wake up his roommate because he’s slept through his excessive amount of alarms again. He peels off his velcro phone holder and drops it on the table, low guitar still playing softly in his ears. Rounding the hallway, he pulls an earphone out of his ear and pushes open his roommates door to be met with the sight of Suga sprawled out across his bed on his stomach. Bare chested and clad only in boxers and socks. It was a surprise when they had first moved in together how Suga slept like the dead. “Oi,” He calls and Suga doesn’t budge, just smacks his lips in his sleep. Kageyama groans inwardly before pulling one of Suga’s shirts off his dresser and balling it up before chucking it at him. “Oi, get up. We have to open.” He says, kicking at the side of the bed. 

Suga groans then, shifting and rubbing his face against his pillow. 

“Mmm, go on without me.” He mumbles. “You can open without me. I trust you.”

“Get up.” Kageyama states again and Suga groans much louder before turning on his back and staring at Kageyama with a sleepy glare. 

“Why do you have to be so hard faced in the morning. Sometimes I wanna wake up and see a smile, ya know? Maybe a croissant and coffee?” Suga mutters, pushing himself to an upright position. Kageyama cocks an eyebrow at Suga before pasting on one of his terrifying grins. “I changed my mind.” Suga says with a shudder. 

“Right.” Kageyama snorts. “If you’re not ready by 8:45, I’m leaving without you.” He says over his shoulder as he pulls the door closed behind him. 

“Last time I checked, I’m  _ your _ senpai!” Suga calls from behind the door and Kageyama snorts again. 

  
  


Kageyama’s showered and in his uniform by the time Suga finally emerges from his room, sloppily dressed suggesting he went back down for another ten minutes. 

“You suck.” Suga says, taking in the cup of tea Kageyama got in front of him as he checks his phone. 

“You could make your own tea if you got up on time.” Kageyama retorts, looking over his phone at Suga as he attempts to groom his bed head by patting at it. 

“Not everyone goes for runs at six in the morning, Mr. Pro Volleyball Player.” Suga says and he grabs Kageyama’s mug from across the island, staring Kageyama right in the eyes and daring him to say something. Kageyama just sighs at the provocation, locking his phone and climbing off the stool. “Where are you going?”

“To work.” He says, stopping down to pull on his work shoes. 

“Wait for me!”

“It’s 8:45.”

“Kageyama!”

  
  


Opening with Suga is always like running a well oiled machine. They slide right past each other in the process of getting their opening tasks done. Suga turns on the espresso machine and Kageyama heats up the drip coffee pot. Suga puts out the deserts and Kageyama puts out the breakfast sandwiches. They always open ten minutes before the door time and wait for the morning traffic to flow in. 

In the meantime, Suga starts two double shots for him and Kageyama. Suga makes the best lattes and Kageyama does the cold brew the best. No wonder they’re both managers at the cafe. But not for long. 

“So when are you taking off?” Suga asks over the hum of the steamer wand where Suga’s steaming milk for their respective lattes. 

“Training starts in the fall.” Kageyama responds, currently balancing his drawer. “I was thinking of going home and seeing my parents.” He says closing his drawer and turning around only to be met with Suga raising an eyebrow at him. “What?”

“You sure you’re going to see your parents? Or do you wanna see he who shall not be named.” Suga questions, forcing a latte into Kageyama’s chest. Kageyama takes the cup, setting it behind him. 

“He’s not Veldemore-“

“Voldemort.”

“I just haven’t seen my parents since they visited me last year and they’ve been wanting me to come home for a minute.” Kageyama shrugs and Suga narrows his eyes at him. 

“You’ve been checking your phone every other hour. I know you’re trying to see if he’ll message you.” Suga says and Kageyama sighs. 

“It’s not-“

“It is. It’s definitely what it looks like. You’re still in love with him, aren’t you?” Suga challenges and Kageyama stares back at him. 

“And you’re still in love with Daichi.” 

Suga’s eyes harden then. 

“We’re not talking about me and Daichi. We’re talking about you and your inability to get over Hinata.” 

“And you can’t get over Daichi.” Kageyama offers shortly. “And Hinata broke up with me, it’s hard.”

“And Daichi chose someone else over me. If I can get over it, so can you.” Suga says and the air is tense around them. They usually try to avoid this sensitive subject unless either of them challenges them on it. 

“But are you actually over him?” Kageyama asks and it’s genuine, not a jab to protect his own emotions. Suga sighs, turning around to put a lid on his own cup. 

“Are you ever actually over your first love?” Suga responds and Kageyama doesn’t offer a response.  

  
  


**_Fall, Second Year_ **

 

“Kageyama! Look at all the ducks!” Hinata actually shouts and Kageyama drops a heavy hand in his hair. 

“Dumbass, you’ve seen ducks before.” Kageyama hisses as Hinata squirms under his hand. 

“But there’s so many here! We should’ve brought bread or something.” Hinata says, ducking out from under Kageyama’s grasp and hopping up to look over the railing surrounding the lake boardwalk. 

“Ducks can’t eat bread. They’re supposed to eat like, grains and stuff.” Kageyama says and Hinata looks at him with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Isn’t bread a grain? It’s got wheat in it, Bakayama.” He says and Kageyama purses his lips. 

“Shut up.” He says instead of offering an answer and Hinata opens his mouth to say something that’s probably stupid but Kageyama effectively thwarts that by pressing a kiss to his lips. Hinata makes a muffled squeaking sound against his mouth before he’s relaxing and pulling at the hem of Kageyama’s shirt. 

Kissing in public is new. Before, it was just a lot of stolen kisses in the locker room or heated make out sessions behind their locked bedroom doors but this is nice. Feeling Hinata melt into him and being able to smell the faint scent of sun warmed earth and the musk of sunflowers beneath Hinata’s blockers. Hinata’s always told Kageyama he smells like the air in the morning on his bike ride to school through the mountain and cold steel. 

Hinata pulls away first, attempting to glare up at Kageyama but the blush on his cheeks dulls any kind of threatening demeanor Hinata was hoping to have. 

“That’s not fair.” Hinata pouts and Kageyama snorts at him. 

“Life’s not fair.” Kageyama retorts and Hinata’s eyebrows furrow. 

“It’s fair if it’s made us be together.” He mumbles and Kageyama feels his face burn. 

“Don’t say shit like that!” Kageyama says, averting his gaze and hoping the wind nipping at his cheeks disguises his flush. Hinata’s smiling up at him, still holding onto Kageyama shirt. 

“But it’s true, ya know.” Hinata says. “When we first met you were all grumpy and mean. And now you’re all sweet and grumpy and mean. If that’s not fair, I don’t know what is.” 

Kageyama looks at Hinata then, fighting off that wobbly grin Hinata always manages coax out of him. He attacks him them, Hinata squawking against his mouth before laughing loudly. 

Life is fair with Hinata in it. 

  
  


**_Spring, Present_ **

 

One thing Kageyama’s glad he doesn’t have to put up with due to graduation is classes. After work, he can go straight home and do absolutely nothing with his day. 

So he works out in his apartment complex’s gym until the sun goes down and comes home to Suga trying to burn the apartment down. 

“What are you doing?” Kageyama asks, nose scrunched at the acrid smell of burnt something wafting through the house. 

“Making dinner.” Suga responds with a grin. Kageyama walks over, looks over Suga’s shoulder into a pot that’s bubbling in the most unpleasant way. 

“Whatever that is, it’s not edible.” He says and Suga pouts up at him. “I’m ordering take out.”

Suga sighs, exasperated and turns the burner off. 

“I was making sekihan. For  _ you _ . The least you could do is be grateful.” 

Kageyama looks over his shoulder from where he’s seated himself on the couch, sniffs the air, then grimaces. 

“No thank you.” He snorts, pulling up his contacts to find the pizza place’s number. 

“Fine.” Suga huffs, plopping on the couch next to him. “I want mushroom and red pepper.” He says, reaching for the TV remote. Kageyama just grunts in approval. “Ooh, you think Kaori will find out about Yuuske’s secret love child?” Around this time, Suga likes to watch his terrible dramas that always get Kageyama sucked in some how. No matter how much he tries to avoid paying attention, he always ends up pissed off at the cliff hanger the episode ends off on. 

“I don’t care.” He says as he keys in their order. 

“You nearly threw the pizza box when the last episode was over.” 

“I saw a bug.”

“No you didn’t.” Suga laughs, propping his socked feet on the table. 

“Pizza will be here in an hour.” Kageyama says instead of responding. 

“They’re literally right around the corner. I think they just hate us.” 

“You don’t tip.”

“Anyway,” Suga says with a stretch. “I think I wanna go to Miyagi with you.” Kageyama looks at him then. 

“You think? Or do you wanna go?” He questions and Suga punches him way too hard in the shoulder. 

“You know what I mean.” He says, leaning into the arm rest while Kageyama rubs at his now sore shoulder. They’re quiet for a minute and Kageyama’s glad he answers the question he doesn’t want to ask out loud. “I want to see Daichi.” Kageyama keeps quiet, just offers a nod. “I know it’s been years but...I think I’ll finally be able to let go if I see he’s actually with someone and I didn’t just make it all up and let him leave.” He says, a frown pulling at the corners of his mouth. “I just wanna know if there was actually someone else. Then I think I’ll be okay.”

“And if you aren’t?” Kageyama asks, eyes focused on the TV. Suga’s quiet for a minute and Kageyama almost speaks again before Suga lets out an exaggerated sigh. 

“Then I guess I’ll have to make you my wife.” He says and Kageyama bristles. 

“Make  _ me _ your  _ wife _ ?” 

“Yeah, you do all the wife things anyway. Cook, clean, wash the dishes.” Suga says waving his hand flippantly. “Plus, you can buy us a nice big house with all the money you’ll be getting.”

“You know you’d be  _ my _ wife, right?” Kageyama asks. 

“So you’re proposing?”

“No!”


	5. Look of Steel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! This chapter is simultaneously dedicated to ao3 users laet_lyre (who helped me realize some of my math was off because I’m a fucking mess) and flamingpotatoarson who is way too good at predicting what goes on in this fic but also gave me the will to write more of this anddd tumblr user iwaizumy who beta’d this chapter! That’s right! Ya girl has a beta now! So hopefully these upcoming chapters won’t be such a mess and I’ll go back and fix those later. But for now...are you guys ready to really kick this fic off? I’ve been chomping at the bit waiting to start the angst of this fic and share some more of the past between Suga and Daichi and Kageyama and Hinata. Soooo here’s chapter 5!!

**_Chapter five:_ **

 

**_Spring, One Month Before Graduation_ **

 

No matter how much Ukai tried to discourage it in Hinata’s earlier high school years, Sakanoshita remains the after practice meet up spot. Hinata finds in these sore bodied moments that he wants to apologize to his former senpai who had to put up with them as he watches two of their newest first years knock over a gum display. Ukai’s clenched jaw makes Kageyama grab one of the first years by the back of his jacket and physically reroute him as the other first year holds up trembling hands as if he’s surrendering. It’s surprising sometimes; how much Kageyama’s grown. Physically, he’s grown another eight centimeters but mentally, he matured in ways fifteen year old Hinata never would’ve thought of. Nights where the streets were quiet, and the only light dimly illuminating the room is the small lamp that resided on the nightstand by Kageyama’s bed were the best nights. Those nights were when he thought about it most, when Kageyama’s hands would tickle against the bare skin of Hinata’s sides and their lips left each other’s only for Hinata to laugh against Kageyama’s parted mouth. When Kageyama would press chaste kisses from his forehead to his jaw. He thinks about it a lot when Kageyama digs his nails into the flesh of his thigh as he rocks into him, coaxing sharp breaths and muffled sighs from Hinata. 

Yet it’s all vaguely noticed and sitting on the back burner. 

The first aisle he notices from the register is the aisle that holds diapers, and wipes, and formulas and it only serves as a reminder that it’s been two weeks since he took the test, and he still has yet to tell anyone. Even Kageyama. 

He’s been able to disguise the bouts of nausea as an upset stomach or nervous jitters towards graduation. Sometimes, he finds Tsukishima eyeing him when he’s coming back from the bathroom during morning practices, or when he’s taking yet another break because he’s exhausted to the point that his body aches. He dozes off in class and sometimes a classmate will shake him awake but more often than not, people are starting to ask him if he’s okay. That’s the question that never fails to corner him because he’s so far from okay. He’s seventeen years old, and he’s pregnant and doesn’t even know how far along and Kageyama – his boyfriend – doesn’t even know. 

And Kageyama. 

Kageyama’s the worst of them all. 

He’ll place the back of his hand on Hinata’s forehead and his cheeks,  _ softly _ asking him if he’s okay, and Hinata will smile and  _ lie _ . He’ll smile and lie because they both have already gotten their acceptance letters from the same university they both worked long days and nights for. The same university they would stand on the same court for- on the same side of the net for, and that can’t happen if Hinata’s pregnant.

“Hey,” Kageyama’s voice cuts through the haze, and Hinata realizes Kageyama’s right in front of him, brows pulled together. In his first year, Hinata would’ve been terrified at the expression but he knows now that it’s just Kageyama’s thinking face. “You feeling sick again?” he asks, placing the back his palm to Hinata’s cheek. It’s so gentle and caring despite the scratching of the frayed tape wrapped around his knuckles. 

Hinata wishes he could just say it.

Two words.

He wishes he could just take a deep breath and let Kageyama know that their future isn’t going to work out the way they planned it but maybe it’ll be a little better but at the same time it might be so much worse. 

“Yeah, just a little bit.” He nods with a shaky exhale and leans into the palm at the same time. Kageyama turns his hand over, cradling Hinata’s face like he’s something precious and Hinata closes his eyes. He misses these moments. The moments where everything was bright and worry-free. Where Kageyama held him and Hinata didn’t feel like he was going to be ripped to pieces if he said two words. 

Two words that held so much. 

“You should go home.” Kageyama says, and that small smile he’s grown used to and hasn’t at the same time is there. “If you’re still sick by the time practice starts, you’ll never beat than me,“ 

Hinata’s heart sank to his gut. 

A month ago, he would’ve gone indignant at the tease, but now he’s just stuck with a pressing realization.

_ Practice _ . How did he forget about practice. Practice starts two weeks after they graduate and they’ve got to go to Tokyo and do  _ physicals _ . Physicals that require tests and performance evaluations. 

One month and two weeks. 

Hinata has one month and two weeks to tell Kageyama he’s pregnant. 

Hinata’s standing in Sakanoshita when he realizes his world will never be the same no matter what he says or doesn’t say.

  
  


**_Spring, Present_ **

 

It’s been a week since Kageyama’s televised appearance, and if seeing Kageyama’s face on TV hurt, the posters plastered to the sides of storefronts and bus stops were agonizing. The new had dropped a pound of bricks on his chest, and every  poster, every newspaper front page added another brick. Every “congratulations” and every person talking about it on the street acted as a reminder of what could have been.

It’s a poster on the side of the bus stop near Sakanoshita that stops Hinata in his tracks. 

It’s Kageyama, of course, midair after a set– volleyball inches from his taped fingertips. 

It’s that poster that makes Hinata realize that Kageyama’s done it. He’s a professional volleyball player now. Kageyama’s accomplished his dream – just like Hinata wanted him to. All the doctor’s appointments by himself, feet in stirrups- crushing the hand of a man who wasn’t Kageyama, sleepless nights, overtime that exhausted his entire body, days in the dark when the electricity was off, tantrums in the grocery store, more doctor’s appointments– all for this moment. 

Kageyama’s a pro. 

In this moment, Hinata wonders. 

What does this make him?

A single parent who’s lived everyday of his life since Emi was born in constant turmoil and persistent struggle?

A high school graduate with nothing else to his name?

Another omega who could’ve had it all?

Yet, Hinata gets this feeling in his chest that overwhelms the pain. He feels the warmth Emiko’s smile permeates through him like he’s swallowed the sun. He sees her and her grin and can’t imagine a life where he isn’t watching her grow up. That feeling he got when he stepped on the court or the feeling the ball met his hand and slammed down on the other side of the court pales in comparison to the feeling he gets when Emiko’s squeals in laughter. When she was placed on his chest, just four pounds and three ounces, sunset colored curls stuck with the effort of labor to her flushed face, and blue eyes staring right back at him– he wouldn’t trade her for the world. 

  
  
  
  


Ukai’s pulling up the storefront roller shade, a cigarette hanging from the side of his mouth and it bounces with each curse he spouts when the shade gets stuck, as Hinata rounds the corner.

“Piece of shit,” he mutters, giving another hard yank before the shade is fully tucked away beneath the awning. He’s pulling his cigarette from his lips just as he notices Hinata. He knows the bags under his eyes give away the exhaustion that’s set in his bones but he offers a dim smile to make up for it. It doesn’t work. Ukai just places a hand on his shoulder and gives it a squeeze before patting his back. 

He gets a glimpse of the sports magazine display facing the glass, and of course Kageyama’s face is printed across them. 

Ukai follows his gaze, exhales through his nose and  holds the door for him. Hinata mumbles a thank you that he’s sure isn’t audible. The door closes behind them with the sound of rusted brass clanging into the door. There’s nothing but the lingering ring of the bell and the hum of the refrigerators lined along the back wall for a minute in the store. 

He’s stood in this spot many times. He stood in this spot the first time he was scared shitless by Ukai yelling for him and Kageyama to stop bickering in store. He stood in this spot when Daichi bought the team meat buns for the first time. He stood in this spot when Kageyama looked at him like he could see the rest of his life in golden brown eyes. 

“You sure you’re okay for today?” Ukai says from behind him and Hinata’s nods. “Hey,” his former coach says again and then Ukai’s in front of him, both hands on his shoulders. “You’ll figure it out.” 

Hinata feels something tug in his chest because he doesn’t even know what he’s supposed to figure out. Ukai lets go and Hinata’s in this spot by himself again. 

“They keys for the drawer are over here,” Ukai goes on, reaching under the register cabinet. He’s blowing paint chips off the set of keys when Hinata gets over, unlocking the register and pulling out bills before counting them silently. He counts them one more time, whispering numbers before holding them out to Hinata, and the omega looks at the bills before looking back at Ukai. “Take it,” Ukai says and Hinata’s eyes go wide. 

“I can’t do that,” he says, clutching at the hem of his shirt. “I won’t.”. 

“It’s an advance,” 

Hinata gives his former coach an incredulous look. 

“Convenience stores don’t give advances.” 

“Well, this one does.”  When Hinata shakes his head, he lets out a deep bodied sigh. “Look, I’m trying to help here.” He says, setting the bills on the counter, pushing them over to where Hinata stands. He reaches into his pocket, fishing out another cigarette and placing it between his lips. 

“You can help by letting me earn this,” Hinata says, and it’s short, paired with a stern and steady gaze. 

“Hinata,” Ukai says, leaning over the counter to take Hinata by the wrist so his palm is facing upwards. “You’ve spent nearly five years putting your life on hold, leaving your dreams behind to raise a child by yourself. You’ve earned this. You’ve earned more than this and if you don’t think you do, you need to think again.” He picks up the bills again, places them in Hinata’s hand, and uses both hands to close his fingers around them. “This isn’t a hand out. It’s a hand up. Take it.” 

Hinata swallows around the lump in his throat. Ukai lets go of his hand then, straightens up with the accompanying sound of joints popping, and pulls his lighter from his pocket. 

He’s opening the door when he stops in the doorway, the click of his lighter sounding throughout the store. “You’re not a burden on anyone. Me, Daichi, Tanaka, everyone. We help you because we want you to succeed and we care for you. And Emi.” He says around the cigarette. “Everything  _ you’ve _ done to this moment led you here. Whether you think it’s right or not, whatever you do next is up to you. Not Daichi. Not Emi. Not Kageyama. This is your life, kid. Learn to live it. Not live with it.” Ukai meets his gaze, smoke billowing from the end of a burning ember. He turns and leaves Hinata standing in an empty store. 

  
  


It’s the evening when Tanaka comes in. Tanaka’s a sight for sore eyes, grinning from ear to ear as he hops up to sit up top the register counter. The store’s been relatively slow in activity. Just a few elderly omegas who compliment and tease him until he’s blushing and some cheeky teenagers skipping class with handfuls of sweets and chips. 

“How’s your first day goin’?” he questions, pulling a lollipop from the jar sitting to the side of the register. 

“It’s okay,” Hinata shrugs, resting his elbows on the counter and planting his chin in his palm. “Just kinda bored,” he adds, his body sagging with an exaggerated sigh. 

“At least you don’t have to worry about smelling fish all day?” Tanaka offers, and Hinata nods with a small smile. 

“Yeah. And, Ukai gave me an ‘advance’.”

Tanaka’s taken the wrapper off his stolen lollipop and popped it in his mouth. “You deserve it.” The man smiles, dropping a supportive hand onto the omega’s shoulders. “I mean it. You work harder than anyone I know. Including Daichi.”

“Daichi works really hard. He goes to school, watches Emi  _ and _ works.” 

“He does it because he’s a teddy bear in a grizzly bear’s body.”

“Speaking of Daichi,” Hinata groans, letting his elbows slip from their place and allowing his forehead to hit the counter. “Emi’s calling him dad again.” 

“Again?” Tanaka says with an arched brow. “I thought you broke her out of that.”

“I did! But she asked if Daichi was her dad the other night and I didn’t tell her no, I just told her that her dad has blue eyes.” It was cute at first, when she was younger and it could be chalked up to a simple mistake. Now though, it seems like she does it to spite Hinata. She yells it from across the apartment when Daichi comes over. Although Daichi’s face is always priceless, the little glances she gives him afterwards feels like she’s testing how far she can push it before she’s stopped- or if she’ll ever be stopped at all. “And it’s scary, ya know? Like, what happens when she gets older, and she understands what a biological dad is? Or when she realizes can’t call him that? What if she gets mad at me for not letting Kageyama be in her life?”

“It doesn’t matter what she calls him,” Tanaka says simply. “When she gets older, she’ll know Daichi was always the one there for her and she might thank you for it.”

“But what if she doesn’t? No one grows up not knowing their dad and doesn’t wonder who they are.” Hinata breathes. “Nothing’s that simple.”

“You could just marry Daichi.” The flippant way Tanaka says it makes Hinata stand up straight and push him off the counter. 

“I’m not marrying Daichi! We aren’t even together!” He squawks, face beet red. “I wish everyone would stop trying to hook us up!”

“Everyone? And you guys  _ already _ hooked up.” Tanaka grins and Hinata’s entire body  _ burns _ . 

“We didn’t hook up! I told you! He just-“

“Fingered you. Got it.”

“Tanaka!”

“While you were in your heat.”

“I don’t even want to know what I’m hearing,” a voice says and both of their heads snap over to where the door is closing behind Ukai’s who probably done coaching for the day. 

“Hinata let Daichi fing–“

Hinata lunges across the counter, wrapping both hands around his former senpai’s mouth, effectively knocking over a lighter display in the process. 

Ukai raises an eyebrow. “Really?” he questions with a smirk. 

“No! Well sort o– it’s none of your business!” he squeaks, absolutely mortified. Ukai just chuckles, dragging his feet across the door mat before rounding the counter. Without any warning, he smacks the back of Tanaka’s head, causing the older man to yelp and keel forward. 

“Stop harassing my employee. And pick up those lighters.” Ukai says with a pointed finger and grin to match. Tanaka’s mouth flaps indignantly before he’s grumbling and picking lighters off the floor. 

“How was it today?” Ukai asks, twisting the keys in the register and pulling it open. 

“Boooring.” Hinata yawns, stretching both his arms over his head, a pop sounding in his lower back. 

“Might not be for long.” Ukai says and there’s something in his voice that makes Hinata arch an eyebrow. “Sugawara stopped by practice today.” 

Oh. 

“ _ Oh _ .” Hinata breathes. “He’s back in town?” 

Ukai nods, closing the register and pulling up an old stool. 

“Yeah, he says his school year’s over and he wanted to see how everything was going here.” His former coach says cautiously, tapping a finger against the box in his pocket. 

“You don’t think–“ Hinata starts, and Tanaka lets out an odd, high pitched laugh.

“I uh, probably should’ve said this earlier but,” he starts, averting his gaze and clasping his hands together. “The last time I talked to Noya-san, he told me Suga and Kageyama were living together.” He says with a grimace. “But that doesn’t mean he’s back too!”

“But there’s a possibility.” Ukai deadpans.

“A  _ very _ small possibility.” Tanaka grimaces. “Noya told me that Suga and Asahi were trying to arrange a get together. Like, a reunion.” 

“But they don’t _ know. _ ” Hinata says, his stomach twisting. “They’re all coming back and they don’t know about Emi.” 

“Hinata,” Tanaka starts, dropping all the lighter he had collected onto the register counter. “I can call my sister and you can stay with her for a few days.” 

“I can’t. I need the-”

“I can take care of things while you’re gone.” His former senpai assures and Hinata’s eyes are starting to feel wet.

“I can’t ask you to do that. I can’t-”

“Mama!” A voice shrieks and Emiko’s running in, crashing into Tanaka’s legs. She falls back on her butt and Daichi’s scooping her up before her lip can even start wobbling.

“What did we say about running?” The alpha chides, bouncing Emiko further up his hip, wrinkling his white button down in the process.

“Daichi,” Hinata breathes, throat tight. “Suga’s back in town.”

“Mama, look!”

Daichi’s eyes go wide, his mouth agape.

“Mamaaaa,” Emi whines.

“He came by practice today and Kageyama might be with him.” Ukai voices, leaning forward, leveraging himself on the counter and planting his face in his palm.

“ _ Mama _ ,” Emi whines again and Hinata looks to her, sees her holding up a small purple teddy bear with button eyes. “Look what daddy got me!” She smiles, leaning her head against Daichi’s shoulder.

  
  
  


The only thing Hinata can hear over the blood rushing in his ears is the tinny sound of brass hitting glass again. He’s looking at the door, more so, he’s looking at who’s standing at the door.

Suga’s there. White as a sheet as he looks between Hinata and Daichi, eyes finally landing on where Emiko’s currently laying her head against Daichi’s chest. Hinata’s eyes widen at the same time Suga’s eyes do, but for entirely different reasons. Or maybe the same because the door’s opening again.

“Oi, why were you walking so fas-”

The posters hanging around town nor the televised version of Kageyama could never live up to Kageyama in the flesh.

The Kageyama who’s here and staring at him.

Hinata’s standing in Sakanoshita when he realizes his world will never be the same no matter what he says or doesn’t say.


	6. Back in my Head at Another Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! Sorry for the wait!! This chapter actually isn't even finished. It was gonna be super long if I wrote all the content I wanted to write in it so the next chapter will probably be really long too! Thank you for all your comments and messages on Tumblr, they really inspire me to write! Also, thank you to my lovely beta as well who totally didn't beta the end of this chapter because I wanted to get it up but she definitely helped out with a lot of it!
> 
> Anyway, here's chapter six!

**_Chapter Six:_ **

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**_Spring, Seven Years Ago_**

Spring meant cherry blossom petals littering the sidewalks and painting the waterways pink. Spring meant shedding heavy winter jackets and blossoming rosy cheeks. Spring also meant graduation.

It was always in the foreseeable future, and Suga spent long nights at the desk in the corner of his room studying for entrance exams and filling out university applications; so he doesn’t know why it only hits him just now as he’s standing in front of his team. Tanaka and Nishinoya started sniffling during the ceremony, but they’re full on bawling now. Tanaka uses the sleeve of his gakuen to wipe at his running nose. It’s more endearing than disgusting, and Suga whacks the top of his head with his diploma.

“Does an ace cry like that?” he chastises, and the smile he’s wearing nullifies the assault.

“I’ll be the best ace I can be! I’ll make you proud Sugawara-san!” Tanaka proclaims, wiping at his eyes with the same sleeve he used to wipe his nose.

“We’ll keep the team in shape! You guys don’t worry about a thing!” Noya shouts proudly, jabbing a thumb against his chest. 

“We’re not worried about anything,” Daichi says from where he’s standing next to him, strength in his words and a smile in his eyes. “Plus, you’re all Ennoshita’s problem now.”

“We won’t let you down, Ennoshita-senpai!” Hinata proclaims, tears rushing down his red cheeks like waterfalls. 

“Sure,” Ennoshita sighs, looking to Daichi, and his pained eyes yell ‘don’t leave me here with them.’ One of the best decisions the third and second years combined ever made was crowning Ennoshita captain. In his hands, Suga had the faith that everything would carry on fine. 

“Sugawara-san, Daichi-san,” Kageyama voices, and he’s bent over in a bow that makes Suga and Daichi flush sheepishly. “Thank you for everything.” 

“That’s a little unnecessary, Kageyama,” Daichi assures, kneading at the space between his brows.

“Are you crying, Bakayama?” Hinata gapes, crouching down to peer at the expression hiding underneath Kageyama bangs. 

“No!” the setter growls, quick to force a hand in the boys hair and bury his palm into his skull.

“Ow– ‘Yama! That hurts!”

“That’s the point dumbass!”

“Oi, we’re not gone yet,” Daichi says with a smile that has a more sinister than joyful aura to it and it makes the first years shiver. 

Suga sends sympathetic glance to Ennoshita who looks like he’s lost all hope. 

“You’ll all be fine. Don’t worry.” Suga assures, reaching out to tussle the first year duo’s hair. He really means it. Even with all their fighting, Kageyama and Hinata have grown into much more than they were before. 

“Suga-san,” Hinata’s bottom lip wobbles, new tears forming in his eyes. 

“Um,” a timid voice calls from behind them and Suga turns to see a group of what looks to be second years standing a few feet behind them.

 “Daichi-senpai, Yuuki-chan really wants to speak with you,” the timid girl says, eyes hidden behind dark hair. 

Suga finds his gaze catching the eye of a bashful boy, hair secured in an elastic band that falls to his shoulder.

“Ooh, they’re omegas,” Hinata voices from where he’s currently ducked behind Tanaka’s back. “What do they want with Daichi-san?” His sparkling eyes are looking up to Tanaka for some type of guidance as he asks his question. Hinata had only presented a few months back as an omega. He managed to fill the gym with the overwhelming scent of spring reared orange blossoms and sunshine on skin. Daichi proved himself to be much stronger than his instincts, keeping Tanaka and Asahi at bay as Suga peeled Hinata from the floor and took him to the infirmary. So he doesn’t need to catch their scents to know that the group is predominantly omega, and he knows exactly what they’re here for. More so, what Yuuki is here for. 

“Go,” he nods, nudging Daichi a bit too hard with his elbow. Daichi’s brows furrow, rubbing at his side, and his mouth opens to say something that Suga knows he’ll roll his eyes at. “It’s okay. Go.” He offers a reassuring smile. “I’ll wait here for Asahi.”

“Suga,” the alpha starts but Suga just shakes his head. 

“I’ll be here. Don’t worry about it.”

It’s funny how no matter how many times Suga tells him to go, he means it. But when Daichi does go, it feels like a dull blade has been forced into his diaphragm. It doesn’t hit any vital spots but it aches like he wishes it did. 

“Sugawara-senpai,” Hinata’s voice chimes behind him as he watches Daichi’s back. 

He turns to look back at his kouhai. “Yeah?” 

“You and Daichi are going to school together, right?” the boy asks, eyes cast down like he’s thinking of something too big for him to process. It seems the others have left to bid a farewell to Kiyoko (more so harass her). 

Suga just nods, a content smile playing on the corners of his mouth. They’ve even got an apartment ready for them when they make the move. The search was extensive, and he and Daichi spent many lunch breaks behind the main building looking through listings on a shared phone screen until they found one. Their landlord is a cheeky older omega who lives in the unit below with a small corgi that greets oncomers enthusiastically, and their next door neighbors are a beta couple who go to the same college they’ll be attending. It’s cheap, run down, and probably in a not so nice neighborhood, but it’s theirs.  

“Do you think me and Kageyama could get into the same school?” Hinata asks then, cheeks rosy. Suga can feel the tug of a teasing grin forming on his lips. It seems that lately, Hinata’s started to come around to understanding his feelings for Kageyama. Ever since Kageyama presented as an alpha, Hinata’s clung tighter to his side like a tick, and Suga thinks it kind of sucks that he’s not going to be around to watch the two finally realize they like each other, but he knows that it’ll play out for them in the end. 

“If you work hard enough, nothing can stop you two,” Suga says, dropping an elbow on Hinata’s shoulder causing the boy to stumble. 

“I bet you and Daichi-san will do great too!” Hinata grins, and Suga finds himself smiling back at him. 

 

Daichi finds him and Asahi later, after Asahi’s long goodbye to Nishinoya and after Suga’s finished harassing Tsukishima who’s too cool to say goodbye; after graduation is over and the sun has started to set behind the horizon. It’s just them walking down the road, leaving behind the school in gym they spent so much of their lives in. 

“So,” Suga hums, stretching his hands over his head. “Did you confess to Nishinoya or were you too chicken?” 

Asahi burns scarlet, mouth agape and flapping. 

“How did you-?”

“How did I know you were gonna wait until graduation and take Nishinoya under the cherry blossom tree and confess, or how did I know you took Nishinoya behind the cherry blossom tree and  _ he _ confessed to  _ you _ and took your second button?” Suga grins mischievously. 

“Were you spying on me?” Asahi sputters, Daichi grinning between them. 

“No,” Daichi says, bringing a hand down on Asahi’s shoulder. “It’s because you’re predictable.” The alpha shrugs. “And I was spying on you.” 

Suga laughs loudly at the way Asahi pauses in his step to gape at the two of them, and he has to hold onto Daichi’s arm because he’s laughing so hard that his stomach aches. 

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’ll miss you guys.” 

Suga’s laughter dies down then, and they’re standing at the intersection where they all part ways. 

“We’ll miss you too, beardie.” Daichi says with a smile that reaches his eyes. 

“I can’t believe we’re not high schoolers anymore,” Suga says, and he tilts his chin up, eyes focused on the sky above him. “It seems like it was just yesterday that we all had walked into that gym for the first time.”

“Yeah…” Asahi trails and follows in suit. 

They’re all looking up and Suga wonders if he’s ever going to see the stars this clearly when he’s in Tokyo. 

“I should get going. My dad’s driving me to the airport first thing in the morning.” 

“Don’t forget to send us pictures of Osaka when you get there.” Daichi says, and Asahi hums in confirmation.

“We’ll see you,” Suga says and Asahi nods, smiling despite the redness around his eyes. Then Asahi’s gone, leaving Suga and Daichi at the intersection. 

“He’s probably crying now.” 

Suga huffs out a laugh, stuffing his hands into his pockets. 

“He’s a big baby. Of course he is,” he affirms, gaze dropping to Daichi. The sun’s gone down and the street lamps are lighting up in pairs down the street. Daichi takes a step towards him, standing toe to toe with Suga. Daichi’s only a bit taller than him, but in moments like these, Daichi seems like as tall as a mountain in the distance. Suga’s gaze drops to the second button still secured by thread on Daichi’s gakuen and it makes something warm stir in his abdomen. “We did it,” Suga says, pulling a hand from his pocket and grabbing ahold of one of Daichi’s. It’s always amazed him how firm Daichi’s hands were seeing how he touched Suga so softly. “Can you believe that we aren’t in high school anymore?”

“It still hasn’t dawned on me yet, but even when it does, I think it’ll be okay.” Daichi says, caressing the back of Suga’s hand with his thumb. 

“Why’s that?” Suga questions, biting at his bottom lip and averting his gaze from Daichi’s. Daichi, of course, pulls at his hand- yanking him so they’re toe to toe and Suga follows with an indignant yelp followed by a breathy laugh. 

“I think you know why.” Daichi laughs, and he’s looking at Suga like he’s the most delectable thing in the world. It still manages to amaze him that of all people, Daichi chose him. Not only chose him, but loves him.

 “What did he want?” he asks softly, and he’s glad Daichi’s bright because he knows that Daichi knows exactly what he’s talking about. 

“He wanted my second button,” Daichi says, and Suga can feel an ache in his chest. “But you already know that it’s yours.”

Suga looks up at him then, the night’s chill nipping at the tip of his nose. Daichi’s smiling that warm smile that makes his throat close and his breathing stop. It’s only been a year since he’s been on the receiving end of that smile but it still chokes him up all the same. The fact that someone as unmovable and grand like Daichi can love him still renders him speechless. 

“Yeah,” Suga sighs, pressing closer like a moth drawn to a light. “I know.” 

Daichi leans in then. Underneath the street lamps they’re visible from yards away, but neither of them care as their lips meet each other’s, a soft press with strong passion. 

For all Suga cares, Yuuki could’ve gotten that second button because he knows he has Daichi’s heart. 

  
  
  
  


**_Spring, Present_ **

 

“Suga!”

It’s funny how a voice that used to bring clarity to his world and warm him from the inside out like he’d swallowed the sun now burns through him until he’s hollowed out leaving nothing but soot and the ash of the smallest inkling of hope Suga had stored in him.

“Stop following me,” Suga  _ hisses _ , gaze fixed firmly ahead of him with no intent to look back. 

“Suga, please, just-“ Daichi falters, and it engulfs Suga until he’s forced to spit out the words blocking his throat. 

“Just what? Listen to you? It four years too late for that,” He says venomously, whipping around to face the alpha who stops in his stance. 

“Suga, it’s not what it looks like.” The alpha says, and past Suga would’ve called it reassuring, would have gave up and forgiven Daichi right then and there. But Suga isn’t past Suga anymore and apparently, Daichi isn’t past Daichi anymore. 

“It’s not what it looks like?” Suga jeers incredulously. “That girl just called you her  _ father _ , and you’re telling me it’s not what it looks like?” Daichi stands there, sienna eyes wide and even now, Suga can’t help but notice how breathtaking he is. Time has done him well and he must still work out some because Suga can see the skin tight around the veins on his forearms, but Daichi’s clenched fists bring him back to the present situation and he wonders why Daichi feels like he has the right to look  _ sorry _ . It keeps playing in his head like film being ran on a loop. Hinata, his former kouhai, and Hinata’s  _ daughter _ that looks like a carbon copy of him and  _ Daichi _ . Daichi stood there with this concern tugging the corners of his mouth downward, a child in his arms who holds up a small stuffed bear and calls Daichi daddy. “So it was Hinata.”

“It’s not like that. Me and Hinata aren’t together.” The alpha says with a shake of his head meeting Suga’s eyes again. 

“Oh, you just had a kid together, then?” It’s acidic, the way the words roll off his tongue and they must effect Daichi the same way because he’s recoiling as if he’s been burnt.

“No– she isn’t mine.” Daichi assures, stepping closer to Suga and Suga takes a step back, unwilling to let Daichi try and bridge the distance between them that he’d built purposely. 

“Then who’s daughter is she? Because I heard her call  _ you _ daddy.” 

“I can’t–“ Daichi starts, stepping forward again before stopping and bringing up a hand to the back of neck. “I can’t tell you.”

Suga stares, mouth parted in disbelief and underneath all his rage, anguish. 

“Unbelievable.” He laughs, bringing a hand up to his hair, and there’s no humor in it. 

“Suga, it’s complicated.”

“It’s complicated?” Suga repeats, gaze narrowed. “You know what’s complicated? Standing here realizing that I was  _ right _ all along and feeling like an idiot because of it. You left me in Tokyo by  _ myself _ to come back here and play house with  _ Hinata, _ and you’re saying you’re not that girl’s father when she called you daddy in front of my face! And then you can’t even tell me who her father is because it’s  _ complicated _ ? That’s not good enough, Daichi!” He shouts, face red and chest heaving. 

“He needed me,” 

“I needed you!” Suga cries, jabbing a shaking finger into his chest. “I needed you to be there for  _ me _ !” He hates that his eyes are growing watery. “I needed you to stay!” He hates that it feels like his throat is closing. “And you left.”

“She’s not mine, Suga. You’ve got to believe me.” Daichi pleads yet again. 

“Believe you? You want me to believe you? You left me to be with Hinata! And even if she isn’t your kid, you want me to believe you’re not together?” Suga says, stepping closer. “You didn’t even give me so much as a phone call, but you could wake up in the middle of the night and get out of our bed to answer his phone call? You lied to me when I asked you who you were on the phone with, and you want me to believe you? You left for a  _ week _ and didn’t say a thing, and you want me to believe you?”

“Suga, please. It wasn’t like that.”

“It was like that!” Suga yells, and now he and Daichi are toe to toe. “You lied to me! You kept everything so secret and wrapped yourself in it even when I said whatever it was, we could’ve worked it out together!” Suga cries.

“I couldn’t tell you!” Daichi’s yelling now too, and Suga’s vaguely aware that they’re doing this in public, but he could care less at the moment because he knew it was only a matter of time before this happened. Behind closed doors or not, he wanted to know the truth that he already told himself he knew. 

“You couldn’t tell me because you finally found an omega who can give you what you want that I can’t,” he says, and he hates the way his voice cracks. 

“You’re being  _ childish _ .”

“Yeah? Then it’s a good thing you’ve got a lot of experience with children.”

“Suga,” Daichi says his name like he used to; soft but this time it’s laced with something Suga doesn’t want to understand, something he refuses to try and understand. “It’s not like that,” he says again, reaching forward to take hold of Suga’s arm, but Suga steps back, shakes his head. 

“Don’t touch me,” he spits, tears streaming down his face freely now. “I guess they were right. Alphas and betas just can’t be together.” The words settle in his gut, making him feel like he wants to throw up and scream at the same time. It’s sat in the back of his head for the longest. Betas are plain. Male betas can’t birth children. Betas and alphas never end up together. 

“ _ Koushi _ ,” Daichi calls and Suga flinches at the way it makes his heart skip a beat. 

“Don’t,” Suga chokes. “Don’t you  _ dare _ . You lost the right to call me that.” 

“Koushi, just let me explain.”

“Stop. I gave you a chance to fix it all and  _ you _ messed it up,” the beta says, and it comes out more pained than he intended it to. “Don’t follow me. I’d say please but, you wouldn’t care.” Daichi doesn’t say anything and it simultaneously relieves and pains Suga at the same time as he takes a last glance at the man he used to call his. It amazes him how even now, he still wants to kiss the frown of Daichi’s lips and be held by him. He shakes his head, biting at the inside of his bottom lip before he brings himself to turn on his heels. He recognizes the roads set ahead of him.

It's the intersection where they always part ways. 

  
  
  


**_Spring, Two Weeks Before Graduation_ **

  
  


Hinata’s in dress rehearsal, standing behind the heavy faux velvet curtain that hides the side of the stage. His principal's toupe sits slightly off centered on his head as he chastises a student who nearly stumbled on her way across the stage during the rehearsal. He can feel the heat of the overhead lights showering the stage and sweat’s rolling beneath the collar of his shirt. 

Two weeks. Graduation is in two weeks, and Hinata still hasn’t told Kageyama that they’re expecting something that isn’t their volleyball scholarship. After graduation, he’s got two more weeks, but with the way the past few weeks flew by, he knows he really is running out of time. 

He’s had so many opportunities to tell him. Like when Kageyama asked if he was feeling okay or when college was brought up. Yet he always found a way to wiggle out of telling Kageyama what exactly was wrong.

The nausea’s gotten worse. He spends his mornings in the bathroom, hugging the toilet bowl and spitting up bile even when he’s got nothing left to throw up. God, and he’s always tired. He face plants his bed when he gets home and clocks right out only to wake up at half past dawn and rummage through the fridge to find something that  _ won't _ make him throw up. Google’s become his best friend. He’s researched so much about pregnancy that he clears his browser history before he logs off his computer. At one point, he was sure that he had some weird type of cancer until he brought himself to take another test only for that to end up positive too. 

Being around Kageyama was the worst of it all. When Kageyama would press his broad chest against Hinata’s back and wrap his arms around his front, Hinata would immediately squirm out of his arms because what if Kageyama  _ felt it _ ? The swell that was growing underneath his clothes wasn’t big by any means. During his second and third year, he and Kageyama utilized the school gym every other day so he’d managed to pack on a bit of muscle, but being an omega meant he softened up exponentially so far. He still fits most of his clothes yet when he looks in the mirror he can see the beginning of a bump forming. It looks like nothing more than a bit of fat, or like he’s bloated. But he’s not. He’s pregnant, and he still hasn’t told Kageyama –  _ can’t tell  _ Kageyama.

Said person is talking to Yamaguchi and Yachi at the moment, dress shirt sleeves pushed up to his elbows, and face twisted into confusion. He gathers from Yamaguchi’s laughter and Yachi’s blushing that Yamaguchi’s teasing him about something and the light must go off in Kageyama head at the same time because he’s burning red and stammering. He has no idea what they’re talking about, but both Kageyama and Yachi join Yamaguchi’s laughter, and Hinata feels warmth blossom throughout his body. Albeit scary, Kageyama’s smile has taken on a warmth and his laugh is musical. If their kid has any characteristics from either of them, he wants one to be Kageyama’s laugh. 

“You should tell him already,” the sudden voice beside him makes him jump out of his skin. Tsukishima pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose but his eyes don’t leave the omega. Hinata registers his words then and his skin pales and bile creeps up his throat. “I would say I’m surprised he hasn’t figured out yet, but you two share one braincell.” 

“Figured out what?” Hinata questions, worrying at the hem of his untucked shirt. Tsukishima’s gaze drops, as if asking him why he even thought of playings stupid and Hinata takes his bottom lip into his mouth. “I’m trying,” he says and the words carry weight with them, as if he’d pulled them from his gut. 

“Good,” Tsukishima says. “Don’t wait until it's too late or you’ll regret it.” Hinata’s brows furrow. Tsukishima, even in maturing, is never the type to help Hinata out so he wonders why he’s saying this now. Is the situation so serious that even Tsukishima has to say something? It just reminds Hinata that he has no idea what he’s getting into, and it scares him again, acid burning the back of his throat. 

“Hinata,” Hinata looks over to where he’s being called and sees Kageyama pulling the strap of his messenger bag over his shoulder. The sun’s setting, and rehearsals are over. That means it's time to go home and Hinata’s sleeping over at Kageyama’s house. They’ll be alone because Kageyama’s parents are out, and Kageyama will probably want to touch him. He looks back to Tsukishima, and his gaze is still firm. He swallows and nods at the secret between them and to his surprise, Tsukishima nods back. He’s still green around the edges when he picks up his bag, sees Kageyama waiting for him at the door, and he takes a deep breath.

He has to tell him and he’ll tell him tonight or he’ll regret it.

 

**_Spring, Present_ **

 

He regrets it. 

In his mind, Tsukishima is sighing deeply with his face in his palm because of course, he didn’t listen. Of course he regrets it because Kageyama’s standing behind Suga, and he can’t even see Suga with the way the world falls apart around him. 

Then the bells banging against the door again and Suga’s leaving, pushing Kageyama so he stumbles, back hitting the door.

“Shit,” Daichi curses, and Emi’s being put into Hinata’s arms where she starts to whine. “Sorry.” Daichi says shortly, gaze locked with Hinata’s. Hinata remembers this look in his former captain’s eyes. The same look that Hinata saw when he opened his door to see Daichi standing there with all of his belongings. Hinata gives a weak nod because no matter how much he needs Daichi in this moment, he knows that Daichi needs to talk to Suga. Daichi stalls for a second, foot skidding across the tile before he’s out the door too.

“Mama,” Emi whines, and Hinata briefly wonders if Emiko had went down for a nap at all today because she’s only whiny like this when she’s tired. He wouldn’t mind taking a nap either, as long as when he opens his eyes, he realizes all of this is a terrible nightmare. Tanaka pulls another lollipop from the jar by the register and reaches out for Emi.

“Wanna see something cool?” he asks in a voice too bright for the atmosphere and Emi holds his gaze as if challenging him before nodding, reaching out for the lollipop before she lets Tanaka heft her into his arms. He looks to Hinata then, eyes strong. “If you need me,” he says, and it’s enough because Hinata knows that Tanaka will be there for him because he always is. Tanaka nods, bouncing Emiko further up his hip before brushing past the beads that cover the door behind the register. 

Ukai sets a hand on his shoulder, grip firm and reassuring. The firm gaze Ukai captures him with gives him the strength to swallow the fear that’s been sitting in his throat. Even if it only travels to his stomach and swirls around in a horrible, nauseating cycle of anxiety, it reminds him that no matter what, he’s always got people behind him. Ukai squeezes his shoulder and follow after Tanaka.

And then it’s just him and Kageyama. The latter hasn’t moved from where he’s standing in the doorway , eyes wide like a deer in headlights and  _ god _ , the posters and TV couldn’t come close to seeing Kageyama in person. He’s in a pair of running bottoms and a white t-shirt, but he still looks  _ good _ . The silence that sits between them is charged to the point that Hinata can feel the static buzzing under his skin and it doesn’t do anything to distract him from the way his stomach is rolling in his gut. 

Kageyama’s in front of him for the first time in four and a half years. Four and a half years, and he’s never told Kageyama about the little girl with bright hair and striking blue eyes. 

“Your hair’s long.” 

It’s the first thing out of Kageyama’s mouth and Hinata would laugh it weren’t for the situation they were in.

Hinata’s instantly overwhelmed with the way his instinct reacts, enough warmth pooling in his abdomen to rival the anxiety. Four and a half years, and Kageyama’s voice still makes him feel like he’s burning from the inside out. 

Kageyama’s staring, and Hinata realizes this is where he’s expected to open his mouth and respond but his tongue feels dry in his mouth– like his lips are stuck to his teeth. 

“I-“ he chokes and it’s too shrill as it breaks at the end of the sound. “I haven’t gotten around to cutting it.” 

“You have a kid.” There it is. Kageyama’s looking at the ground now, eyebrows drawn together in that painfully endearing thoughtful face Hinata knew like the back of his hand. The air settles around them, as if the tension has dissipated into the air and all that’s left is the lingering of the past that ties two of them together. Hinata’s no stranger to the overwhelming intensity of Kageyama’s gaze but this one is inquizitive, confusion with a deep seated pain in them and it occurs to him that Kageyama probably thinks that Daichi is Emiko’s father. He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes. His throat feels dry and any words said would feel like sandpaper being yanked from his esophagus with the realization that if Kageyama thinks Emiko is Daichi’s daughter, then he doesn’t think that Emiko is his’. 

“Yeah.” Hinata says and the words fall from his tongue like a cinder block off a cliff. “You’re a pro.” Kageyama nods slowly as if he’s pulling the words through molasses to process them. “Congratulations?” Hinata tries, voice breaking at the end. 

“Is Daichi-”

“No!” Hinata says so fast that Kageyama looks like he’s got whiplash. “I mean, Daichi’s important to her but um, he’s not her dad.” Hinata says, picking at the chipped paint in the counter with his thumbnail. Hinata prays that this isn’t the day that his entire world falls down, the day he has to look Kageyama in the eyes and tell him that Emiko is his daughter. That he didn’t tell Kageyama about her and now she’s coming up on her fifth birthday and a new man that supposed to her father is going to be introduced into her life. But what if Kageyama doesn't want to be in her life? What if he’s so mad at Hinata for hiding her for all the years that he doesn’t want anything to do with him or Emiko? His stomach  _ hurts _ . 

“You’re thinking too hard.” Kageyama says and it doesn’t feel right without the half serious, half fond ‘idiot’ added on to it. Nothing about this interaction feels right. Kageyama brings up a hand to scratch at the nape of his neck, eyes locked on the floor. “I should… go find Suga.” 

“Yeah.” Hinata breathes. 

“It was good to see you.” He says with a nod, “And you too. Congratulations. I hope you’re happy.”

Hinata’s heart feels like it might actually crawl up his throat and fall onto the counter. And then Kageyama’s gone almost as quickly as he came. Hinata watches his back until it disappears around the corner before he fell forward onto the counter, forehead pressed against the chipped paint and eyes welling. There’s a hand on his back and he doesn’t have to look to know it’s Tanaka’s. 

“How’re you feeling?” Tanaka asks, voice gentle yet still hard around the edges.

“I don’t know.” Hinata says honestly, pushing himself up so his elbows are propped on the counter. “I feel...guilty.” He confesses, and his throat actually hurts with words.

“Don’t be. You did what you felt was right.” Tanaka says and he catches Hinata with his firm gaze, Emiko’s sleeping face pressed into his chest. Hinata lets out a breath that makes his whole body shake. 

“That doesn’t mean it wasn’t wrong.”


	7. Cursing the Skies of his Company

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys! There was a lot to this chapter but I broke it up so I could get some up in my really busy schedule. Thanks for your comments! They really keep me writing this!

Chapter Seven

  
  


To say going away to college in the city was a culture shock would be an understatement. It was difficult to adjust, finding new routes to run in the mornings, finding new cafes, and conbinis. Of all, finding his place amongst the city was the hardest. Back home, be it a good or bad reputation, people knew who he was. He was Kageyama, the sour-faced setter with promise. In the city, he was Kageyama, the sour-faced pinch setter who despite every advance walked home alone, never went to mixers or game after parties. 

It took too many mornings of waking up and sitting at the edge of his bed with his head in his hands to realize that he and Hinata were apart. Cities apart, he sat in an apartment without the one person he wanted to grow his life with. The games all seemed naught without Hinata by his side, standing on the same court.

Suga started coming around sometime after his first year. Suga would draw his blinds and speak too loudly, toss a water bottle right at Kageyama’s face and tell him it was time for their run. Kageyama thinks back often to the fact that Suga didn’t start running in the mornings until Kageyama came around and no matter how much his senpai said it was just because he wanted to get back into shape, he knew he was doing it for him. After a while, Kageyama stopped scrolling through his and Hinata’s old text messages and started going to mixers and game after parties. He met a few people. A beta girl on the girl’s team. A male omega who’s scent was so sweet it made Kageyama nauseous sometimes. There were a few others who he’d kissed after having too much to drink but they all had one thing in common. 

None of them were Hinata.

None of them were the boy that he thought about first thing in the morning and right before he went to sleep. None of them were the person he looked for in the stands after winning a game. None of them were the person he wanted standing by his side the day he got picked to play professionally. 

Seeing him for the first time in nearly half a decade made his entire body stiffen as if his feet were cemented to the ground, made his heart pound like marching drums. Yet as soon as he saw the little girl, face pressed into his former captain’s chest, holding a fistful of his shirt holding Kageyama’s gaze so intently- it felt like he was doused in a bucket of ice-cold water. Every daydream, every moment spent lingering in the past too long, every hope he had came crashing down around him. 

He barely even felt the walk back. It was like his feet were on autopilot, mechanical “one foot after the other”.  All that was on his mind was Hinata. More so the fact that Hinata had a daughter. Hinata said she wasn’t Daichi’s so he had to have been with someone else. Or is still with someone. He couldn’t see the nape of the omega’s neck where he standing or with the hair covering it but he had to wonder if Hinata’s bonded with someone.

He’s glad Suga talked him into renting a hotel room for the trip. Being with his parents would’ve been suffocating, especially with seeing Hinata. He slides the keycard into the lock and jiggles the handle before he can actually open it and he immediately notices how dark it is inside. With a glance down as he toes off his shoes, he confirms Suga got back before he did. That’s when he smells the smoke. 

The smell is imprinted in his memory and brings him back to the nights he sat on his balcony watching the cherry end of a lit cigarette burn into ash before Suga would tap it into a bowl Kageyama dubbed an ashtray. Seeing the balcony door open further confirms that Suga is home and is probably in a really bad mood. When he gets to the door, Suga’s leaning against the railing, cigarette between his lips. The dim light from the streetlamps below illuminate his silhouette and he can start to assess the damage. Suga’s eyes are red and swollen, ash littering the collar of his shirt.

“I thought you quit,” Kageyama says stepping onto the balcony and closing the door behind him. Suga doesn’t look at him, just slowly exhales the smoke from his lungs before ashing the cigarette of the edge of the balcony. 

“I said I quit a lot of things.” Suga looks at him then, a humorless smile pulling the corner of his mouth. Kageyama stares at the man in front of him, notices how his eyelashes are still wet. He steps forward, grabs the cigarette from his fingers and places it between his lips. “Oi,” Suga says, eyebrows furrowing. “You don’t smoke.” He says and Kageyama grunts in acknowledgment. He’s an athlete, of course, he doesn’t smoke. He pulls at it, feels the smoke fill his mouth and tries to inhale before it backfires and he’s hacking up his lungs, leaning over the railing.

“This,” Kageyama coughs, holding the cigarette back out to the beta. “Is disgusting.” He finishes, looking over to Suga with watery eyes and a runny nose. Suga grins at him before he starts laughing. 

“Was it worth the try?” Suga asks, placing the cigarette back between his lips. Kageyama can’t tell if he was talking about the cigarette or the trip back home. 

“She’s not Daichi’s,” Kageyama says instead and Suga’s eyes narrow in on him before falling to the ground. “He told me. They’re not a thing.”

“And you believe him.”

Kageyama’s brow furrows.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“Because we haven’t seen them in years and we come back and Hinata’s got a kid calling Daichi  _ dad _ ,” Suga says and it's so bitter coming off his tongue.

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Kageyama says and Suga barks out a laugh.

“It means  _ everything _ , Kageyama. Hinata breaks up with you, Daichi leaves me, and here they are. In our hometown;  _ domestic _ .” The beta says, pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes. “It’s like a slap in the face by the hand of reality.” He sighs, ash on the end of the cigarette growing as the cherry burns. “Alphas and Omegas always find each other and live happily ever after.”

“Suga, stop.” Kageyama breathes, firm yet fragile simultaneously. Suga’s hands drop then and so does he, perched on the balls of his feet and forehead resting against his knees. 

“The sooner you accept it, the sooner you move on.”

Kageyama shakes his head.

“No. It-” He mutters, fingers gripping hard at the rail. “It doesn’t seem right. Hinata would never do something like that.”

“Kageyama,” Suga sighs exasperatedly. “The people you think you know tend to surprise you.” Kageyama grips the railing, knuckles going white.

“They do. But not like this.” 

  
  
  
  


Sometimes, when Emi didn’t want to go to sleep without Hinata beside her, Hinata would stay up and run his fingers through his daughter’s hair. No matter how many nights he’d done this, he always found himself mystified by the fact that he and Kageyama created her. This beautiful girl with a fiery heart who’s much more mature and intuitive than she should be at four years old. Even with her eyes closed, she looked like her father. That same downward curve to the edges of her mouth and the same furrow between her brows that almost seemed permanent. Hinata remembers when she was born, how she would look up at him with her huge blue eyes with that furrow between her brows. He would push his thumb between them as if trying to smooth out a wrinkle and laugh at how it seemed to intensify instead. He used to spend nights like this wondering what it would be like for Kageyama to be on the other side of the bed, smiling softly at him when they locked eyes. Hinata also wonders what Emi would be like if Kageyama was in her life. If he told Kageyama, what would she be like? Would she be a daddy’s girl, always attached to Kageyama’s pant leg? Or would she stay tucked into his chest and cry for her mom? Either way, he would never know because he gave up any hope of that happening when he broke up with Kageyama a day before graduation.

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he sees a tear roll down Emi’s cheek and he doesn’t even bother with wiping his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers even though it falls on deaf ears. Emi stirs slightly in her sleep, fist clutching at her mother’s shirt in a sleepy fit. Hinata presses closer to her, wrapping up around her small body. Seeing Kageyama made every single emotion he repressed after Daichi came back into his life spill through the seams of the fabric he’d been hiding behind. This wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t want Emi to grow up without her dad. He didn’t want to struggle to make ends meet and live in this shitty apartment. He didn’t want to see Emi’s face drop when he told her that they can’t afford the toy she wanted in the store. He didn’t want to live a life without Kageyama.

But he already screwed that up. He didn’t tell Kageyama when he had the chance and now Kageyama’s going to go on and live this lavish life where he’ll meet someone and settle down. He’ll have a kid and Hinata will forever be out of his memory.

His chest is heaving, shoulders shaking when he feels the bed dip behind him. A hand’s on his back then, rubbing in slow circles with a steady comforting pressure.

“Daichi,” Hinata breathes, voice hoarse, “I love you.” A sigh comes from the man at his side, full-bodied and strained. 

“No, you don’t,” Daichi says, tone firm.

“It was worth a try.” Hinata chuckles humorlessly. “It would be easier.” He adds with a sniffle. Emi’s breath fans across his cheek, a steady stream of in and out. “I should’ve told him. I  _ really _ should’ve told him.”

“We should’ve done a lot of things,” Daichi says and there’s something unreadable in his voice. 

  
  


Hinata wakes up in his own bed to the smell of breakfast. A look at his bedside clock shows him that it’s well into the afternoon, and Emi’s probably at her camp. He sits up, digs his thumb into the corner of his eyes to get rid of the crust that’s built up there. On shaky legs, he stands, holding his weight up with his hand pressed against the wall.  Daichi’s back is facing him when he gets to the kitchen. There’s already a plate set out on the countertop with a steaming mug sat beside it. 

“You didn’t wake me up,” Hinata says and Daichi turns to him then.

“It’s your day off. I thought you could use the rest.” Hinata rubs at his eyes with one hand, reaches for the mug on the counter with the other. He catches his reflection in the dark coffee and notices that his eyes are red and puffy. “Hinata,” Daichi says and Hinata looks up to see Daichi drying his hands off with the dishtowel, eyes focused on his fingers with a furrow between his brow. “I have to talk to you about something.” The tone of his voice makes Hinata something twist in his stomach.

“Okay.” He nods, holding Daichi in his gaze. Daichi’s still drying his fingers, gaze too intent on them.

“It’s about me and Suga.”

“Oh.” Hinata blinks, cocking his head to the side.

“Or...what I didn’t tell you about me and Suga. I think you deserve to know because I messed things up with him and me,” Daichi’s inhale is sharp. “I want to try things with him again and to do that, you’ve got to know why he’s going to be upset with you.” Hinata almost recoils at that.

“Upset with me?” He questions, eyes wide. Suga’s never been upset with him. Even when he accidentally served a ball into his back that left a huge bruise. 

“Yeah,” Daichi sighs, finally looking at Hinata. “Suga’s always been...upset that we can’t have kids. Around the time I found out about you, we got into a big fight about me going to a mixer with some friends. That was the first time I left.”

“Left? Like, you left for a while?” Hinata asks innocently.

“No, like, the first time we broke up.” Daichi clarifies and Hinata breathes a sharp “oh”. “And then when I went back, he apologized and said he knew he was overreacting and I knew it too. Things were getting hard with school and work and everything but then we fought again...over you.”

“Oh.” Hinata breathes again, guilt gripping his gut before fear flared in his entire body. “Did he know-”

“He didn’t know it was you but he knew there was someone I was talking to and I didn’t tell him anything and that was the problem. He was already really insecure being a beta and with the pressure from his parents about family and everything, he broke.” Daichi says and Hinata’s eyes are growing wet again. “And then Emi was born and you needed me-”

“So you left,” Hinata says and Daichi looks up at him. “You left him when he needed you most.”

“Hinata-”

“I’m so _ stupid _ .” Hinata blurts, pressing the palms of his hands against his eyes. 

“Hinata, this wasn’t your fault.”

“It is my fault! All I had to do was tell Kageyama and none of this would be happening! You would be with Suga and I’d be-” Hinata cut himself off. What would he have been? His chest feels tight and his breathing’s gotten heavy and it’s  _ so _ hot.

“Hinata.” Daichi’s voice is firm now and Hinata’s starting to understand why. He feels sticky between his legs and his body’s trembling. Daichi’s moving then, ripping open a cabinet and pulling a bottle of pills from the counter before shaking two pills into his hand. He’s by him then, pulling his head back slightly and bringing his hand up to his mouth. His scent hits Hinata and he feels himself getting slicker and he has this unbearable urge push his face into the hand in front of him. But then two pills are falling into his mouth and Daichi brings the mug up to his mouth, making Hinata drink from it to wash down the suppressants. Hinata gasps for breath then, vision starting swim and nausea rolling in his stomach.

“Daichi,” He whines, pulling the man close and Daichi takes both of his wrists into one hand before sliding an arm beneath the omega’s legs and hoisting him up. That familiar burn is starting to creep across his skin and he’s starting to  _ ache _ . He starts aching, even more, when he’s deposited into his bed because he knows what comes next. Daichi says no, finds a piece of his clothing, and leaves him there to burn. “Please don’t leave me,” Hinata begs, tears flowing freely now as he watches Daichi sit the trash can in the corner of his room closer to the bed.

“You know I can’t stay.” Daichi says firmly and there’s that telltale strain in the alpha’s jaw that signifies that he’s trying his hardest to hold back.

“Please, I need-”

“No.” It so firm and absolute that Hinata nearly bursts into tears, instead, he leans over the bed and promptly starts throwing up into the trash can beside him. It's nothing more than bile and fluid seeing as he hasn’t eaten much but that makes it worse because now he’s dry heaving and he hurts so bad. Daichi leaves him there, door closing roughly behind him and that’s when Hinata starts crying, back arching off the bed as he struggles to get his pants off. He manages to get two fingers inside himself before he starts sobbing because Daichi didn’t even leave anything of his behind and he can’t smell him anymore and _ god _ , he misses Kageyama so much. He misses the way Kageyama played his body as if it were an instrument. He misses Kageyama’s fingers and his mouth. He misses the way Kageyama would bury his teeth his collarbone so he wouldn’t accidentally bond even though Hinata begged for it. His entire body aches with want for someone he doesn’t have anymore.

  
  


**_Spring, One Day From Graduation_ **

 

The glow from the computer screen illuminated the room around Hinata. He watched the text cursor blink behind a question that’s going to make him clear his search history, almost as if it were counting down the milliseconds he had left to make up his mind.

_ How to tell your partner you’re pregnant _

He hit search, watching the three tri-colored dots flash across the screen before search results loaded. Immediately, he noticed about a thousand WikiHows that featured mature couples with gold bands on their fingers and bite marks at their nape. None of them applied to his situation. He scrolled down more, leaning forward to peer closer at the computer screen before a title jumped out at him.

_I’m an unmated omega in high school and I don’t know how to tell my alpha partner that I’m pregnant. Please help me out_ ▄█▀█●.

Hinata’s eyes widened before he eagerly clicked on the link that took him to a small forum for people to discuss their dynamics. He scanned the poster’s question again before tapping at his down arrow key to look at other responses.

 

_ OP! I had a friend who was in the same boat as you. She told her alpha and they were excited in the end so I hope everything works out for you! Fighting!  _ ヾ(＾-＾)ノ

 

Hinata found a smile beginning to etch at the corner of his mouth as he scrolled through various responses. They were all cheering for the omega and wishing him the best of luck.

That smile immediately dropped when he saw a response in read that had the small caption “poster” under it.

_ I didn’t expect all this support but unfortunately, my partner said he wasn’t ready for a baby and we broke up. Thank you guys for cheering me on, I hope you continue to do so in the future. _

For a brief second, Hinata couldn’t even breathe. No matter all the support this person had behind him, and all the assurances that “it’ll turn out right” he got, it didn’t turn out right.

A knock sounded at his door and Hinata slammed his computer shut, eyes wide as the door opens to reveal the last person he needed to see. 

“Idiot, what’re you doing in the dark?” Kageyama questioned, brows furrowed together. He didn’t have to see himself to know that he looked like a startled animal in headlights, on his hands and knees in his bed with wide eyes. 

“Nothing.” He squeaked, pushing his computer off the bed. The silence between them when the computer slides off the bed and falls to the floor would’ve been comical if it weren’t for the fact that Hinata’s stomach was doing flips. Like, really hard. 

At that moment, two things happened. One, his hand flew to his abdomen. Two, he let out a strangled choking sound as he realized that his stomach wasn’t bothering- his baby was moving.  _ Their _ baby was moving.

“What’s-” Kageyama started but before could finish, Hinata stood up promptly and yelled;

“Toilet!” 

Kageyama shouted as Hinata pushed by him and into the bathroom across the hall, slamming the door behind him before crouching down and putting his head between his knees. He breathed shaky breaths, tears threatening to spill over where they’d collected in the corners of his eyes. He slowly brought up a trembling hand and pressed it against his abdomen, right below where his navel sat and inhaled.

His exhale came out as a laugh as he felt the most faint fluttering feeling under his palm. That was his baby in there, moving around inside of him and making their presence known. This wasn’t just some stick he’s peed on with the word “pregnant” in bold across a small digital screen anymore. This was a  _ baby _ . One that he and Kageyama created together.

“Oi,” Kageyama’s voice ripped him from his trance, fear spreading across his body like frostbite sinking in again. “Why are you laughing like a crazy person in there?” The alpha question, genuine concern laced in his voice. Hinata thinks at that moment about the past two years they spent together. All the fighting, name-calling, and tension. But then there’s the good moments; their first quick, their first match, their first kiss, their first time. 

Hinata was carrying another one of their firsts inside him. 

Their first child.

How could he not tell Kageyama?

He stood then, taking a deep breath before he ripped open the door to a stunned Kageyama standing in front of him.

“What’s wrong with y-”

“How would you feel about having a baby?”

Kageyama blinked owlishly at him, a wide range of emotions crossing his face before he started sputtering.

“Why would you ask that?” 

“Just answer the question, stupid-yama,” Hinata said, eyes locked with Kageyama’s.

“Like, have one now?” The alpha sputtered.

“What if I did? What if I wanted to have a baby right now?” 

Kageyama looked as if he was trying to solve the world’s hardest math problem, brows furrowed and eyes narrowed.

“What answer are you looking for?” The alpha asked instead and it took Hinata off guard but not enough to shake him from his mission.

“The answer you mean.” He said firmly.

“Are you in heat?”

“No, I’m not in heat!” Hinata yelled incredulously and Kageyama’s eyes widened before staring hard at the omega.

“I’d say no.” The alpha said and Hinata can hear the finality in his words. “I’d say we’re not ready and it would mess up everything we have planned.”

“But what if it doesn’t?” Hinata questioned, reaching out to take one of Kageyama’s hands.

“It will! We’d have to work more and you wouldn’t be able to play!”

“What’s wrong with working a little more? An- and I could play afterward, ya’ know? There’s plenty of omegas who’ve given birth and started playing again. It could work!” The omega tried, tears collected in the corners of his eyes. “And we’d have a baby, ya’ know. With your eyes and my hair and they’d be ours.” 

“Hinata.” Kageyama sighed and Hinata buried his face into the alpha’s shirt, already sensing where this was going to end up even if he didn’t want to admit it to himself. “We can’t.” 

Hinata took a deep breath as if he was breathing in Kageyama’s scent for the last time ever- fisting his hands in the fabric before he pulled himself away. This was it. Kageyama had inadvertently made his and Hinata’s decision. Hinata stilled his face before he looked up at the alpha who was looking down at him with some emotion he couldn’t decipher at the moment.

“Then I think we should break up.” 

  
  


**Spring, Present Day**

 

The next four days were excruciating. Daichi must’ve come in some time during the first day of his heat and stocked his bedside table with pain killers, suppressants, and food and water. Even though he wasn’t able to keep down much of anything, Hinata appreciated the thought more than anything. His throat felt raw and sore, his abdomen still aching from the strain of heaving. Everything seemed fuzzy around the edges, the after-effects of his heat still lingering. He finds his way into an upright position, nose wrinkling at the feeling of the dried slick between his thighs. He reached for the towel that he must’ve knocked on the floor at some point and started dabbing at the sticky spots between his legs before realizing it was all moot and pushing himself off the bed to find clothes for a shower.

He settles on a white knit sweater and a pair of boxers, kneading at the ache in his lower back as he pushes the door open. One look up and down the hallway lets him know that no one’s home and his body sags with the weight of missing his daughter. 

He ends up running himself a bath after he washes off, slowly slipping into the hot water. His aches and knotted muscles almost sigh with relief and he lets his head fall back, ochre curls sticking to the sides of his neck. The apartment is quiet aside from the hum of the refrigerator and his minute movements in the water. His eyes are trained on the ceiling, the fuzziness finally starting to fade from his vision. He finds himself thinking back to that moment Kageyama and him broke up. The utter shock written across the alpha’s face followed by a flash of hurt before everything was boxed up. Kageyama didn’t even fight him on it, just grabbed his things and left. Most of the time Hinata wonders what would have happened if he told Kageyama are based on that. In his world of “what if”’s, he said “I’m pregnant” instead of “I think we should break up”. 

When he gets out of the tub, he goes back to his room and pulls the sheets off his bed. On his bedside table, his phone’s screen is glowing, reading: “7 notifications”. He unlocks his phone to see a message from his boss at the cannery saying that he’d been told of Hinata’s situation. There’s one from Ukai too wishing him well. He lingers over the paragraph from Daichi, telling him he’s sorry and he’s got Emi with him and to call him when he’s feeling better. Yet one sticks out amongst the rest. 

_ Unknown: _

_ Hey Shoyou! I got ur number off Tanaka! We’re meeting up tonight if you wanna join us. Everyone’s gonna be here _

And then

_ Unknown: _

_ This is Yamaguchi btw _

The message was sent two days ago and Hinata feels his stomach drop. Tanaka had given Yamaguchi his number. That means he probably went out with them and now they might all know that Hinata has a daughter. He finds himself tapping the chatbox, his thumb hovering the keyboard. Should he even be thinking about texting Yamaguchi back?

He turns his head when he hears hushed voices from down the hallway.

“Stay here while I check on your mama, okay?” He hears and then the distinct voice of his daughter.

“Is he okay?” She asks and he doesn’t hear Daichi’s answer. He lets his phone fall to the bed as it takes a step to meet them in the hallway but a sharp pain stabs at his abdomen and he yelps as his legs buckles, catching himself on the side of the bed. The doors being flung open then and Daichi’s there, rushing to his side.

“Hey, hey, you alright?” He asks, setting a hand on the omega’s back. Hinata clutches at his side, willing the slight nauseous feeling in his gut away. 

“Yeah,” Hinata grits, fist closing around nothing on the bare mattress. “Just after pains.”

“You sure? We could go to the hospital?” Daichi says and Hinata shakes his head. It’s happened every heat since Emiko was born and he’s still growing used to the pains. He lifts his head, prepared to meet Daichi’s worried gaze but he gets stuck looking at the door frame that Emi’s currently peeking around, eyes wide and worried.

“Are you okay?” She asks quietly and Hinata’s heart breaks. He hates Emi seeing him like this.

“Yeah, I’m alright. See,” He says, pulling himself up despite Daichi’s concerned voice telling him not to. “See? I’m okay.” He says and Emi takes timid steps towards him. He meets her halfway and gets to his knees before wrapping his arms around her. “I missed you.” He says as Emi’s small arms wrap around his shoulders. He pulls back, pushing some hair out of Emi’s face. “Did you have fun with Daichi-oji?” He asks, smiling as Emi’s face brightens. She nods her head, a grin breaking out on her face.

“She won a match at camp.” Daichi chimes in from behind and Hinata grins then as Emi puffs her little chest out in victory.

“I’m so proud of you!” Hinata laughs, bringing her back into his arms and squeezing.

“Mama, I can’t breathe,” Emi groans but Hinata doesn’t yield, just keeps pressing little kisses to her head.

“Emi-chan, did you put your stuff in your room?” Daichi asks after Hinata lets go and Emi diverts her gaze guiltily. “Put your stuff up and then I’ll let you help me cook.” Emi brightens again before jetting off into the hall. Daichi’s helping Hinata onto his feet then, regarding him as if he’s a broken doll.

“I’m fine,” Hinata says before Daichi can even ask. Daichi opens his mouth to say something else but Hinata just cuts him off. “Yamaguchi texted me.” He says.

“Yeah, I got a call from Asahi. They’re all back in town right now. I don’t think they know about Emiko, though.” He says and Hinata lets out a sigh. “Although, I don’t know why they can’t know. Kageyama knows you have her now.”

“Because,” Hinata says, sitting back down on his bed. “What if they figure it out?”

“Would it really be that bad?” Hinata looks up at Daichi then.

“You keep saying you wish you had told him, and now you can tell him.” The alpha reasons and Hinata shakes his head.

“I can’t.”

“You could.”

“Daichi, it’s been too long.” Hinata sighs.

“And if you keep waiting, it’s going to be even longer.” 

Hinata lets those words sink in.

 

What would happen if he told Kageyama now?


End file.
